Off-Balance?

Raise your hand if you have ever felt overwhelmed by life. Keep it up if you are having that sinking feeling even today. C’mon, be honest. You are running faster than you want. You are losing track of details. You are tired.

I’m not sure how life got so fast. For our family, I guess part of it is having six children and all the attendant activities and responsibilities. Life in the U.S. is just this way – a blistering pace for everyone. Part of it is just that we have many obligations and interests that keep us moving more often than not.

At times I want the world to stop. At other times I wonder why, with all the privileges and opportunities, am I discontent?

Dr. Richard Swenson is a man I admire greatly. He seems at such peace. He has made decisions to simplify his life. He isn’t (as far as I can tell) subject to a helter-skelter pace for life. And he doesn’t produce guilt as he shares some of his “secrets of success” in this important broadcast series.

One of his approaches to making life more manageable: get rid of some of that wardrobe, and make it easier to pick out a shirt. I adopted that idea and now only wear blue or white dress shirts for work. I know that sounds boring, but it makes finding a matching tie pretty simple and also speeds up my morning routine. Not earth-shaking, I know, but still, this is one of the better decisions I’ve made over the years. I am grateful to Dr. Swenson for this bit of advice.

If you are off-balance in life, wanting practical ideas about making change, find some solutions in these programs.

Laughter

I need it, you need it, we all need…laughter.

A high school memory comes to mind. It was in Wisconsin, I was involved in a campus outreach and growing in my newfound faith. There was a significant event in the Twin Cities, and hundreds of teens gathered for a weekend of spiritual encouragement and fun. One of the speakers was Ken Davis, and he had us rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically, and learning powerful spiritual truths in the process. We walked around for months repeating various lines and laughs.

To this day, Ken remains one of my favorite public speakers. Every one of his presentations has added new understanding and appreciation for life and for God.

Listen in as Ken Davis  makes you smile and also reflect a bit. Have a friend, a spouse, or even a child join you.

You need to laugh.

(And Ken, thanks for being a positive influence in my life all those years ago. And today, too.)

Guilty

I’ll admit it: I am guilty.

I have vowed to do better, but too often I fall far short.

It isn’t that I am ignorant. I can’t claim I didn’t know better.

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The best intentions have been left behind, victim to inactivity, busyness, weariness.

So I’ll own up to my shortcoming, and put it out there, hoping others will find some kind of…I don’t know, assurance?

It is quite clear I am not the only one struggling in this part of life.

I’d guess that the majority of parents can identify with these feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

That’s why I hope parents around the world will hear Dr. Bruce Wilkinson’s message. He is a gifted, passionate and articulate man of God who suggests that parents need to – must – train up their children in spiritual matters. He speaks convincingly about the dread and failure that accompany most parent’s attempts to have (dum dum dum) family devotions – and the need to “just do it.”

Even reading that phrase, “family devotions,” did you cringe? Wouldn’t surprise me. All the more reason to hear this two-day series.

I can tell you that as I listened once again to this classic broadcast I knew I had to act.

So last night I grabbed a copy of “The Message,” and read the 27th Proverb. Only took a couple of minutes. The kids listened along. My wife asked a clarifying question about one of the verses. Then we prayed.

It was a nice return to a lost tradition, once which I hope will become routine again.

If I don’t teach my kids God’s Truth, giving them principles to live by and learn from, who will?

When Kids Rebel

Growing up, I had a pretty easy life.  My parents provided a stable and loving home. We were involved in church and the usual sports and community activities. As a teen, I never did drugs, only had a few traffic tickets and generally made pretty good choices. God’s gracious hand was protecting me, I am certain! Someone, somewhere, was praying for me, and I avoided the difficulties that many kids experience.

Over the years, though, I’ve seen friends and family members struggle with wayward children.  Somehow, godly parents often seem to have a child who is stubborn and chooses to chart their own course. It is a heartache beyond compare to watch young people defiantly go astray from the values they’ve been taught.  Some have chosen drugs, sexual promiscuity, even a life of crime.  I’ve learned that you cannot judge a parent’s”work”by a child’s choices.  Kids make their own paths, and that does not necessarily reflect the influence of their mom or dad.

That said, at times we as parents don’t help our children when we overcommit, are apathetic or become absorbed in things outside the home. Without a constant homeward focus, with intentional time and energies devoted to our sons and daughters, we may be setting them up to make some bad choices.

Dick Gauch admitted he made some parenting mistakes. His daughter went wayward, and he accepts his part in her rebellious choices. His story is powerful, and I am moved to be a better dad by this three-part broadcast.

More About Kids and Money

Why was well-known financial expert, radio host and author Dave Ramsey sitting in Dr. Dobson’s studio chair?

Tune in to find out.

With my oldest at college now, two teens and their entertainment and clothing interests, a grade schooler who doesn’t really spend money and a special needs preschooler, juggling the money and training them well is interesting to say the least.  I’m appreciative for these experts and their perspectives.

Fun conversation, plenty of lively interchange, and some really useful advice for every parent.

Kids and Money

One of the great joys of parenting is watching our children make good choices. And that can be especially so in regards to money. One of my daughters has the spiritual gift of generosity, and it is fun to watch her see a need and want to meet it with her money. She will not think twice about a substantial (for her, at least) gift to a missionary, for instance. In fact, the only real concern I have is that sometimes she probably SHOULD think about the appropriate amount to give.

Also related to money and choices, one of my sons is a spender. At times I’d like to see him exercise just a bit more restraint about his buying. To his credit, he does have a few part time jobs, and just the other Saturday he made $140 – not bad for eight hours work. One of my goals is to help him see longer-term goals for both spending and saving. We’ talked about that a little this past weekend.

Most parents will benefit from the two-day Focus serieswith Ron and Judy Blue. The Blues have both professional and practical experience when it comes to kids and money. They’ve got five grown children, so they have lots of good insights from a Dad and Mom’s perspective about training kids to handle money well. And Ron’s credentials as an advisor have afforded him the opportunity to interact with clients who have varying degrees of success in money management.

The guests were enjoyable to work with in the studio, and their advice is still causing me to think – and act – a bit differently with my own kids. Don’t forget to go a bit deeper — we’ve got web-exclusive content designed to help you have some fun and conversations with your child.

Forgiveness

We have six children and it seems that every day we’re helping one or more of them learn about forgiveness. They have a tendency – surprise! – to take offense at the slightest provocation or infraction, especially the younger ones. A careless word, a lack of consideration, or something more serious occurs. The anger flares up and the defensiveness kicks in. Retribution and revenge do come easily, right?

So often our parenting involves helping the offended party work through the emotions and come to a point of forgiving their sibling…and sometimes that process takes hours.

The maturation process seems to necessarily involve letting go of those things that bother or hurt us. As I grow in my walk with Christ, I find I am less and less offended by others, more quickly forgiving and moving on. Certainly that’s what Jesus taught and modeled in His life.
The two-day series featuring Dr. Jean Garton is an incredible story of faith and forgiveness. If I were faced with the circumstances that occurred in her family’s life, I could very easily become bitter and self-absorbed. Dr. Garton didn’t, and her willingness to share what God did in her pain is inspiring. The faith and maturity she exhibited was almost unbelievable.

One of the resources today has helped thousands deal with forgiveness. What a privilege to know the author, Dr. R.T. Kendall, and to see God using his wisdom and insights to guide people to healing in difficult times. Perhaps you know someone who needs this book. Perhaps YOU need to learn more about forgiveness?

How To Apologize

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I went online for the “30-second apology assessment” offered in conjunction with the current Focus broadcast series. This simple tool helps an individual determine the “apology language” that reflects the expectations and operations of apology situations…for yourself or a loved one.

Now, I won’t say which member of our family speaks the apology language of “Accept Responsibility,” but it was pretty interesting to read the description, which included this explanation:

For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, “I am wrong.” If the apology neglects accepting responsibility for their actions, many partners will not feel as though the apology was meaningful and sincere. Many partners need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. For a mate who speaks this apology language, if an apology does not admit fault, it is not worth hearing.

Take a minute – literally! – to see how you or “a loved one” approaches apologies. It will likely prove to be a minute well spent.

He Inspired Us

Before he passed away last month, Dr. Raymond Moore influenced more lives than he could have ever imagined. Often referred to as “the father of the modern-day home school movement,” Dr. Moore spoke eloquently and pasisonately about the need for parents to be more active in their child’s education, ultimately inspiring tens of thousands of Dads and Moms to take the responsibility for the formal teaching of their children.

Dena and I are among those who heeded Dr. Moore’s call, and we were influenced heavily by his appearances on Focus on the Family back in the early 1980s. In a few days we send our oldest off to college – and we home schooled him from the start. Educating our kids is time and energy intensive, and it costs us financially, too. We believe it was – and is – worth every bit of the work and effort. We’re not “evangelistic” home schoolers, though – it isn’t right for every child, nor for every parent. We’ve got a lot of friends with kids in public and private school, and we render no judgment whatsoever.

Today’s broadcast is for every parent, as Dr. Moore’s thoughts in this interview have less to do with home educating children and more about practical ways every parent can become more involved in those daily “teachable moments,” and his advice in this program is relevant to every family.

Regardless of your choice of education for your kids, take Dr. Moore’s advice and become more of a teacher, formal or informal, as you guide your child to maturity. That’s why we’re parents, right, so we can help our kids to adulthood?

A Call To Purity

I remember back in the 1980s our radio station staff watched some videos about leadership by Dr. John Maxwell. I was struck by his engaging style and approachability, and some of those lessons are still with me. What fun to watch and learn from him!

While Dr. Maxwell has been heard on the Focus broadcast a number of times, his call to purity in this message is perhaps the most memorable and powerful of his messages. The intensity with which he addresses the subject of men keeping themselves unstained by the world and sexual temptation is just about over-the-top! I love the manner in which he finishes this address, fueled by the enthusiasm and response of the 60,000 men assembled at that Indianapolis stadium.

I am challenged once more by Dr. Maxwell to live the life God intends for me, not to accept any substitutes and to choose life in Christ over any temporal temptation.

If you want to heed his call check out Dr. Maxwell’s “accountability questions.”

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