Can You Forgive?
Posted on May 21, 2008
Filed Under Focus on the Family, Life, Spiritual Life, Dr. Dobson's Broadcast
What’s one of the hardest things in the world? Forgiving someone who hurt you. Here’s what some listeners are telling us about the series we’re presenting with Dr. R.T. Kendall:
- Having heard the broadcast, she called to ask how to forgive someone (in her case, an older brother) who doesn’t want to be forgiven.
- …heard today’s broadcast about forgiveness and while she understands the principles being conveyed by Dr. Kendall, she thinks it’s very important to clarify the issue of child molestation. She thinks what was said could encourage child molesters to tell children that ‘God says you must forgive me and not tell anyone’. She wants FOF to emphasize more clearly the necessity for children to tell a responsible adult about abuse being perpetrated.
Clearly, we’re touching a nerve here. How about you?How hard is it for you to forgive?
Comments
4 Responses to “Can You Forgive?”
Leave a Reply
Comments are moderated and will not appear on johnfullerblog.com until they've been approved. While we are eager to facilitate conversation by publishing most comments, we may withhold one from time to time if we deem it offensive, vulgar, overly personal, cynical, disrespectful, irrelevant, redundant or unnecessarily contentious.
Comments on John Fuller's blog may not refer specifically to any current electoral candidate, or any measure on a current ballot – at any level of local, state, or federal government. Focus on the Family is a non-profit 501(c)(3) entity, and therefore cannot take a position on specific votes. Nor can we display any such statements on our Web sites. Likewise, we cannot discuss here the personal viewpoints of people like Dr. Dobson or Jim Daly on political candidates or ballot measures. Any posts to this forum which violate these rules will be removed. There is an alternative venue for this type of discussion. Some activities of this nature are undertaken by Focus on the Family Action, a 501(c)(4) organization, and its media outlet, Citizenlink. Citizenlink maintains an Election Forum of its own, where political discussions are allowed and welcomed so long as they comply with the posted guidelines.
Finally, if you would like to contact our ministry directly, please feel free to do so from one of our FAQs.
I have to keep forgiving and re-forgiving over and over again my step-mother who was physically and emotionally abusive when I was growing up. She and my father married when I was 6 yrs old, shortly after my mother died. She still is emotionally and at times verbally abusive to me now, but takes the role as victim. I cannot begin to tell you how many times in the last 33 years I have forgiven her. My question is if I have really forgiven her at all. She does keep doing some of the same things that she knows hurt me and we have discussed them, but I find myself back at square 1–angry and needing to let go again. Sometimes it is harder than others.
I’ve been trying to forgive and forget a relationship I had with someone for 14 years, he basically told me I was unworthly of him, because he wanted to remain celibate and faithful to the Lord, and moved in another woman within a month. He almost married her, and 3 years later, came back at my door, I took him in for 6 months, and recently went back to this woman again. He even called me to tell me how in love and how he “clicks” with her, and can’t spend a day without her. Every day, even though I say I forgive, my heart still hurts. I see them everyday. I pray every day to forget him, but he creeps into my dreams. I wish to stay focused on the Lord, but this is difficult for me.
Dear readers; Having been the molested growing up, and having lived through my mother divorcing a couple of times; I have to say that forgiveness is vital for your health. The power of forgiveness is real - and is for you - not really for the person who wounded you. God encouraged me that it would take time to heal because the wounds occurred over time - and the healing would take time. Be merciful with yourself and forgive the one who injured you. God is faithful to lift you up and bind your wounds. And - yes you will have to forgive the other person and yourself 70 x 7 as the memmories flood back or when you anger rages. In cases of abusive relationships, distance from them is advisable and good and may help the healing. The greatest tool I ever found was reading the word of God endlessly. It is so full of love and mercy and so healing. Also encourage others to pray for you - you don’t have to be specific. Eventually the old person filled with heartache falls away - and God causes your heart to become new again. Be patient with yourself.
I heard R.T. Kendall on yesterday’s broadcast and have to agree with him on this. Forgiveness is hard, and must be done over and over again. I have found that every time the thought about the person or situation pops up, it must be brought back into subjection to Jesus by actively releasing it/him or her and choosing to forgive again. At first, that may be many times per day. Eventually it gets easier and the emotions begin to follow the will as it should be. I too was molested as a child, by my father. It took many years to reach the point of forgiveness, and several more to make it stick. But it DOES work! Praise God! I’ll never forget the night he called, keeping me up till late in the night, telling me how he’d met the Lord. This was just a few months after I initially forgave him. (Just between me and the Lord…I never brought it up with my dad.) I wonder how long I tied up his salvation with my wounded, hard heart. I know how long I tied up my own growth by it.