Practicing Silence, I

Posted on September 30, 2008 
Filed Under Fathering, Life, Parenting

As a parent of six children, I experience quite a bit of conversation in my home. The talking, yelling, arguing, and (this is the good part) laughter seem unending. There are times when I wonder what quiet is really like, or if I will ever experience silence in the house before 11:30 p.m. There is simply little time of quiet in the home, but that is to be expected with a larger family.

I am grateful for our children and their desire to share about their lives with me. When I walk in through the front door, I’m glad they want to fill me on their day, on the news of the home, of whatever they are feeling. That is a rewarding exchange, and in listening I learn a lot about my kids. I also show them love when I truly listen.

Professionally, I am in the business of communication. I often joke that I get paid to talk for a living – and there is some truth to that! It is a wonderful thing, and I enjoy what I do. There is a danger in this line of work, though, and that is in talking too much.

At times I feel compelled to fill every empty moment in a conversation with talk, because, after all, I fancy myself a good talker! The problem is that too much of a good thing is bad. And in speaking too freely or frequently, I am in danger of making my own thoughts and ideas somehow become less meaningful.

Personally, I struggle at times with being fast and loose with my words. I tend to speak first and then think about what to say. This happens at work and in discussions with friends. Most frequently, though, I do this at home. I’ve got to change that habit!

This concept of using words well – and speaking less – is something I want my children to learn. Too often I fail at modeling this more “thoughtful” approach to conversation for them. More often than I care to admit here, I find myself apologizing to them – and to my dear wife – for saying things I shouldn’t have, or for using an improper tone as I speak, or for not listening better.

Parenting is hard, and this is probably one of the more difficult aspects of raising kids that I’ve dealt with. May the Lord help me “hold my tongue” with my family this week. More on this in a day or two.

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