Dads Of Larger Families

Posted on October 7, 2008 
Filed Under Fathering, Life, Parenting, Personal, Photo

Talking recently to a co-worker who has seven children, I became aware of how tiring it can be to parent a larger family. Sometimes it feels like a merry-go-round, or a carnival ride that just keeps going in circles…and I can’t get off!

I am pretty familiar first-hand with the difficulties in balancing time between work and my family relationships. How can I find the moments to meaningfully connect with first my wife and then each of my children? This is a responsibility I take seriously. I believe God has called me to be my family’s loving leader and I am increasingly aware of the long-term impact of my parenting. It is a struggle for me which requires continual evaluation, reflection, prayer, thought and action.  Life is full, I am busy, and humanly speaking, I can’t pull this thing off. God, help me do this well!

Anyway, just had a quick conversation with a co-worker, Mike, who has a very daunting task. He has a larger family, and the financial strain he deals with is significant.

Mike is working full time at the office. To supplement the family’s income, he delivers newspapers every day. That requires him to rise very early each morning. And now with tax season approaching, he will soon be spending increasing hours preparing taxes for others. Three jobs!

As he described his schedule, I realized that however pulled in many directions I am feeling, Mike is stretched far more. While I may be tired, he is exhausted. I am blessed to have but one job, and we are able to make it on that income, but Mike works three different jobs to provide for his family’s needs.

“How do you find time to be with your family?” I asked. Well, he said, he has Sundays off, and a couple of evenings are free.

I queried, “I have a difficult time engaging with and leading my family. How do YOU do it?” Mike looked at me, smiled weakly, and said he tries as best he can.

After that conversation, I thanked God for my own situation, and with a conviction that I have little room to complain about being short on time and tired! I can only hope that I will be the husband and daddy my wife and kids need.

So my prayer is that I’ll have the energy and wisdom to engage my family, interact with them, and lead well. Let me go home tonight and provide the emotional support with strength, guide the table talk with purpose, and demonstrate love in meaningful ways to each member of my family. Guess I’d better start making that transition, from “Mr. Office” to “Mr. Husband and Dad” as I drive home this evening.

To other Dads, what about you? If you have several children, how do you balance your time? How do you meet all the needs?  Do you have any balance in life?

Comments

2 Responses to “Dads Of Larger Families”

  1. Tim Riley on October 8th, 2008 11:03 am

    I have a couple of comments . I have 6 children all girls and we do many things to give them time. I rotate a date night with my girls so just her and I spend time together at leaste once a month . I also read to the smallest ones theylike this a lot . I also bring them with me whenever I can , just being with me helps them know Dad is there. It is stressful sometimes but if your heart is to fight for your family and keep a pulse on their heart you will do fine . We also have a special day for each child and thier day everyone is to say what they like about them at the dinner table. This reinforces thier value and we have supper together at lease five times a night . I am still stuggling with the emotional part of girls and I overreact but being sincere and apologizing to my girls when I overreact is a must to keep thier heart .
    Tim
    Memphis TN 8 weeks and I will graduate with a MD from Mid-america Seminary
    Better than a A plus student is a A plus DAD and Husband , lets keep our perspective.

  2. Admin on October 13th, 2008 9:51 am

    Kudos to you, Tim, for being intentionally involved in the lives of your precious girls! What a treasure you’ve got today, what riches you’ll enjoy in the coming days.

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