Stay-At-Home Moms Are Happy

Posted on October 14, 2008 
Filed Under Life, Marriage, Parenting

istock_000002408491medium.jpgWhat do you think? Do Moms with no incomes have the same “power” in their marriages as working women with regard to decision-making — and ultimately, in their happiness?

One of feminism’s assumptions is that a stay-at-home mom lacks “decision-making powers.” The suggestion is that a woman with an independent income source has more say about things in her marriage than a woman who stays-at-home and (presumably) has no income apart from her husband.

To the contrary, Megan Basham writes in the Wall Street Journal that stay-at-home Moms tend to enjoy as much - or more - “power” than working women in their marriages. And that leads to more marital satisfaction:

Not surprisingly, one reason men say they are willing to acquiesce in their spouses’ wishes is that their wives usually have greater knowledge of the day-to-day activities and needs of the home than they do. They trust their wives’ choices the way they would any specialist’s. But what is rather unexpected is the deeper (and much sweeter) reason men have for giving in to their wives: They want them to be happy, or at least they don’t want to be responsible for making them unhappy.

Interesting stuff!

If you are a stay-at-home Mom, read the article and then come back to tell me if you relate to Ms. Basham’s observations…or if you think otherwise.

Comments

3 Responses to “Stay-At-Home Moms Are Happy”

  1. Rose Diepstra on October 15th, 2008 12:50 pm

    I wholeheartedly agree with Basham’s remarks. I have been at home since 1992, when I got out of the military, and feel that my role as a wife and mother - homeschooling mother - has contributed more to the welfare of my family and my country than any job could have. My husband leads our family, but I manage it; 99% of the checks written from our home have my signature on them. My husband relies on my observations and opinions because I’m the one “on the ground” so to speak. How could I possibly have seen some of the problems my children have experienced early enough to head them off without ill effect, or spend the hours necessary to initially plan our budget when we decided to get completely out of debt if I were working outside the home? Time is more valuable than money, and my husband and children love and respect me because I’ve chosen to spend it in their best interests.
    And it’s true, if I’m happy (which means healthy, solvent, in order and at peace with God and family), my husband is happy. God bless him.

  2. Elizabeth Pratt on October 21st, 2008 11:29 am

    I am in complete agreement with Megan Basham’s article. As a stay at home mom, my husband would call me the manager of the home. As such, He trusts me with day to day decisions involving our family. In no way, do I feel as ifI lack any decision making “powers”. The Word of God says how can two walk together except they agree. My husband and I are in agreement with our finances, children, family as a whole. I feel satisfaction and enjoyment when we can save a penny here or there by simply using coupons or being creative in some household chore–especially when we are working towards a goal. There are always ways in which we can trim on our expenses(while achieving the same results) and save! Ironically, God has blessed us tremendously and provided for our family in many ways. We have more income now than when I worked as a nurse!

    Another benefit that has given me joy is in seeing our children thrive because of the attention and focus, we are able to give them. I am blessed to be able to visit their classrooms, form connections with their teachers, and teach my three year old at home. I have even noticed a decrease in colds and such. About a year after I initially became a stay at home mom, I ran across an old craft my daughter had made at a girl scout meeting. It was a key chain with my daughters likes and dislikes in all sorts of categories (food, movies etc). My daughter had listed down as the number 1 thing I hate–coming home to an empty home. She had never verbalized this to me. It brought me joy to know that she was no longer coming home to an emppty home.

    Stay encouraged all you stay at home moms!

    May God bless.

  3. joyce on October 22nd, 2008 7:43 am

    I am a stay at home mom. While I respect working women and try to be very careful about not appearing to be judgemental, I feel at this time my place is in the home. I do work part-time as a substitute teacher. It helps with our income some but I am home when the kids are home and I am on the same schedule as they are. We do struggle ALOT financially. There are times when I wonder if we will ever make it and what we will do. When I think of their future, I ask myself, “Will my kids remember how much I worked or how much time I spent with them?” They are growing up too fast (ages 10,8,6). These moments are slipping away too fast and I want to treasure them as much as possible. Like I said, financially, things are extremely tough, but I wouldn’t change my time with my kids.

    joyce lester

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