Just A Fire

It was a casual conversation. One of those “How’re you doing?” calls, which I try to make in the midst of busy days at work. I know she has had an even busier, less predictable day at home with the kids, regardless of how smooth things are going there or how hectic things are for me. So, when I had a few minutes, “I just called to say I love you” (to quote a song line by Steve Wonder).

After a bit of chatting, she suddenly, but quite calmly, announced that she had to wrap up the call, because one of the children reported there was a fire. “Something’s burning!” was what I heard one of them say in the background. “OK, goodbye,” she calmly replied. That was the unceremonious way she concluded our conversation.

I hung up, thinking that a busy Mom is used to many things, from stopped up drains to small fires in the kitchen. She has had both, and many other household calamities. This was surely nothing to get too excited about. Evidently.

“Well,” I thought, “She can handle it, whatever the situation. She’ll call with an update if this is a bad fire.” I walked out of my office and mentioned the circumstance to my assistant, who was amazed at how this news of a fire at home had not rattled me. Over the years I’ve learned that my wife will let me know if an emergency arises. Otherwise, she will certainly solve the problem.

Indeed, she did not call back, and I was correct — this was one of the more routine fires, if any fire in the home can be so classified. The kids were baking a craft project in the oven, and some piece of spillage had ignited. Not a biggee. Thank goodness!

So it goes in much of life. We occasionally overreact to things that aren’t really a big deal. Not a life-threatening matter, not a significant loss or injury. Just stuff. And as a friend observed, “if money can fix it, it really isn’t a problem.”

Good advice. And a reminder about what is really important, and how I need to keep perspective.

Now, I wonder if that fire extinguisher is still in the kitchen cupboard, and if it still works…

Friday Five: Things We Didn’t Do on “Black Friday”

Things our family didn’t do these things on “Black Friday”:

  1. Get up early to see the fabulous deals offered by merchants. Saved gas and frustration by buying a few things online instead.
  2. Put up Christmas lights. The snow prevented us from that traditional day-after-Thanksgiving activity.
  3. Travel. It was nice to stay home for this holiday
  4. Watch a movie. It is a big day for theaters, I know, but we avoided the holiday releases. We did, however, watch some classic Bugs Bunny – really enjoyable!
  5. Ignore the turkey leftovers. We had turkey sandwiches for lunch!

All in all, it was a fine day with family. And I am thankfl for that!

10 Things For Which I’m Thankful

Goodness, there is so much to be thankful for, including (in random order):

  1. Kids-a-plenty to keep us prayerful and active
  2. Family and friends who care
  3. A church family where we feel we belong
  4. Sunny days
  5. Plenty of food and clothing
  6. Good books
  7. A warm bed
  8. Music
  9. Purpose and meaning in life

And, of course, a loving and gracious heavenly Father who loves us so much He sent His sone to die for us. And that’s why we have another holiday coming up soon!

10 Things I’ve Learned About Adoption

There are tens of MILLIONS of orphans in the world. Most will never have a family, but every year about 15,000-18,000 children are brought home from oversees orphanages or foster homes.

There are lots of misunderstandings and even myths about adoption.

We adopted a child from Russia a few years back. Since then, I’ve taken a lot of questions from friends interested in bringing an orphan into their family. The adoption maze can be daunting.

I offer these tips to those who are considering adoption:

1. It is a long process
2. It is an unpredictable process
3. It is an expensive process
4. It will be memorable process, even if it is hard a lot of the time
5. It requires flexibility
6. It requires patience
7. It requires prayer (even if you don’t believe, you’ll pray sooner or later in the process)
8. It allows you to meet new people (at adoption agencies, at the police station, at state offices, at travel agencies)
9. It will be a story you like to tell, and will never tire of telling
10. Other folks care and want to be involved in reaching out to orphans – they’ll help if you let them

I hope you’ll consider adopting a child who has no hope, who needs you. More here and here.

On This Day: 1984

Besides being a book title, 1984 has some great historical meaning to me. Aside from the many news events and celebrity birthdays on this date 24 years ago, something occurred which was only noted in the Tyler, Texas newspaper. This is a very special day for me because it marks the anniversary of my bride saying, “I do.”

Thanks, Dena, for being at my side these 24 years, for encouraging and loving me, for praying for and with me, and for being used by God to mold me more and more into the man He wants me to be. I’ve not arrived, yet, of course – you know that all too well – but look forward to the next years of growth and discovery with anticipation! Let’s hope they are as eventful as the past years have been!

Temptation in Chicago

My friend Max Mclean is in Chicago, and it is worth your time to see him. Learn more about this gifted artist and the performance that is winning the praise of critics!

Hear Their Voices

As many as 140 million kids across the globe are orphans. They are longing for a family. They need parents who will care for and love them. And they have no one to speak out for them.

God’s heart for the fatherless is seen in many scripture verses. His care for these forgotten ones is immense, and He calls us to reach out. We can love them, we can visit them, we can advocate for them, we can educate others. We can adopt.

That’s the heart of the messages presented in this week’s broadcasts at FamilyLife Today and Focus on the Family. That’s the call from organizations like Shaohannah’s Hope and dozens of others, joining voices to urge God’s people to get involved, to see that His plan for the orphan includes each one of us – including you!

I hope you’ll join tens of thousands of believers this week, and all month long, who are praying for and speaking out on behalf of the fatherless of this world. Find more info here. And here.

Life Lessons: Golf Pro Does The Right Thing

This is a story every parent can share with their kids. Doing the right thing doesn’t mean we don’t have to suffer consequences, even when it was an honest mistake. Kudos to Mr. Hayes!

The Future of Focus

If you listened to the beginning of today’s broadcast, Dr. Dobson and Jim Daly shared about difficult decisions being made here at Focus on the Family. While these are stretching times for us, with many challenges, we are not dismayed! God is at work though Focus in mighty ways, across the globe. We are confident He will continue to touch individuals and families in significant ways.

Read a statement from Jim Daly, explaining the vision for Focus as we move forward into 2009.

Research Shows Dad Makes A Difference! Part 2

I think most of us realize intuitively that there is an emotional bonding that usually occurs between a parent and child. The normal interactions of life tend to make that child want to “attach” emotionally to the parent.

Dad, when you spend time with your little one, you facilitate that process of bonding. It can be as simple as playing peek-a-boo! Researchers suggest when a father plays games with his toddler he is developing a secure attachment within that child. And you may be surprised at the ways that can help your child.

A primary benefit of a good bond between dads and their kids was discovered when researchers observed that toddlers who are securely attached to fathers are better at solving problems later in life (see “Parenting Characteristics,” Child Development 55 [1984]: 740-52Source: M. Esterbrooks and Wendy A. Goldberg, “Toddler Development in the Family: Impact of Father Involvement and Parenting Characteristics,” Child Development 55 [1984]: 740-52). Who’d have guessed that some good games of peek-a-boo can help a child become a better problem-solver as an adult?!

Also, Dad, did you know you’ll shape your child’s eating habits? A study reported in Applied Nursing Research  (Volume 18, Issue 2, Pages 106–109, M . A. Horodynski , M . Arndt) suggested that fathers influence mealtime behaviors and a child’s food preferences. I wonder how many of us like broccoli or perhaps don’t like to rush through our meals because we saw our dad exhibit those traits? This isn’t something we picked up in the drive-through line, though. These are things caught through regular mealtime interaction. Takes spending dinner together on a frequent basis.

Finally, Dad, you want to have some fun with your child. I remember gently (okay, not so gently, sometimes) lifting our kids up in the air, chasing them around the house, enjoying a rousing game of hide-and-seek, and when they got old enough, wrestling a little with them. It was great fun. It was not the kind of play that Mom typically engaged in with them. In fact, sometimes I was admonished by mothers (not my wife, but other women) to be careful and “don’t hurt them.” Lo and behold, what came to me intuitively – a more aggressive style of play interaction — was something that researchers indicate is needed for kids to develop well. Without that type of physical play, a child lags in certain physiological development. So, go rough-house a bit with those young ‘ens!

All this to show that what an engaged, active dad does instinctively with his younger child is beneficial to that little one, in the short term and longer. It takes time, of course, to play games and become a major influence in your child’s life. But do it, Dad, do it. Set aside the distractions of work and sports and hobbies, especially when they are young. And be a good father. You’re the only one that boy or girl has.

Next Page →