Advice For Jon & Kate, Mark & Jenny

Posted on June 24, 2009 
Filed Under Marriage, Social Concern

Two high profile marriages in the news in about 24 hours. Both involved people who have rather unusual stories, younger children, a lot of public pressure and intense media scrutiny. And both couples were known for some religious faith. What to think?

Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of a television reality show and parents to eight children, announced on TV that they are divorcing. Evidently I am one of only a few who really knew nothing about this couple, having never watched their show and pretty much ignoring stories about their famous family. Until now. Their marital strife has been the subject of tabloids and blogs for some time. Fans have expressed great disappointment with the Gosselins’ divorce announcement, others anger, and in one poll most said the couple should work on resolving their differences and seek to stay together. It doesn’t look particularly hopeful for this young couple, though.

Mark Sanford, embattled Governor of South Carolina, has been in the national spotlight this past year, ever since speculation grew that he might be a contender for the VP slot on the GOP ticket. Closer to home, he has irritated many in his state with his tactics and stances on a number of issues. In recent months, allegations of marital difficulties have surfaced, and those intensified last week when Mr. Sanford all but disappeared, with differing explanations as to his whereabouts by his staff and his wife. The mystery was made public, however, when he confessed to the assembled press corps and a watching world that he had gone to Argentina to see a woman with whom he has had an extramarital affair for some time. As of this writing, the Governor is insisting he will not resign from his office.  Jenny Sanford indicates the marriage can be put back together, but that her husband has some work to do. Indeed.

I’ve got a variety of thoughts about these couples. Sadness for the kids, disappointment that these marriages have unraveled in the public eye (it seems to me that the last thing a struggling marriage needs is a bunch of cameras and reporters asking prying questions and offering opinions about what might happen), and even some hope that somehow these public breakdowns can be patched back together. With God’s help, that is possible, of course.

I think it is imperative for those of us who follow Christ to avoid being judgmental about these couples, to pray for these families and to model grace and forgiveness. Seems to me that’s what Jesus would want from us. No stone throwing, just an awareness of our own tendency to sin and some introspection to make sure we don’t start down a similar path. That’s what He wanted the Pharisees to know in John’s Gospel (chapter 8).

As to advice, if given the opportunity I’d suggest to these men that they (a) leave the spotlight by walking away from their jobs and (b) concentrate on doing whatever it takes to restore the broken relationships with their wife and children. From what I can tell, in the past each man has said that family is of primary importance. So men, do the hard thing, the right thing, and seek forgiveness for your part in the troubles we’re witnessing today and pursue reconciliation with everything in you.

What do you think? Scroll down the page (past all the fine print) and leave a comment.

Comments

10 Responses to “Advice For Jon & Kate, Mark & Jenny”

  1. Joshua Nelso on June 25th, 2009 7:53 am

    Absolutely the correct advice. I was hoping that the big announcement from Jon and Kate was that they were canceling the show (or at least taking a long break) to work on their marriage and spend time with the family and no cameras.

  2. Sallie on June 25th, 2009 8:14 am

    Great advice! Of course, the bit about leaving their jobs might be hard to do but I’m sure you meant leaving their jobs that put them so much in the spotlight. They have to have an income obviously but definitely not such a high profile one.

    It saddens me that divorce is always the quick and easy answer these days. I am so thankful for my marriage of 18 years. I’m a military wife. Has our marriage been easy? No way!! But every moment, good or bad, has been worth it!!

    God bless,
    Sallie

  3. Christian on June 26th, 2009 8:39 am

    My wife watch the show as often as we can. We also have several children and have been through some tough times. I agree that the two should stay together and work things out. But most importantly I think that both John and Kate must focus all of their attention and energy on their marriage, not the children. Sounds strange, but almost every week we hear John and Kate say that they always put their children first. GOod, but what about the marriage and the love between John and Katie. My wife and I have learned that by putting the marriage first, then all other things will work out. Their first mistake was not taking care of each other and their needs.

  4. Marsha on June 26th, 2009 2:36 pm

    If only Jon and Kate could put their Christian beliefs into practice and become examples for the world watching their every move that Christians do experience hardships, but submit to a Higher Power for solutions. Jon needs to become the active head of the home and leader in trying to put the family back together, beginning with putting priority on his and Kate’s relationship first before the children’s needs (for once). They’re concentrating on the kids’ concerns while the kids really desire and need their parents to work out their marriage to stay together. If only they would walk through a restoration of relationship with the help of the Lord, a Christian counselor, and hopefully with support of family and friends, instead of going for a divorce. So many are in prayers for this beautiful family who may have lost their direction and delved in way over their heads with enormous responsibilities, quick fame, wealth, high expectations, and saturated media coverage. If they could just put Jesus as priority and let Him give them both the desire to work through this, all would win: Jon and Kate, eight little watchful faces, TLC, and all their fans. Jon and Kate, give it all to Jesus and fight for your marriage as Christian warriors. You are already victors in Christ!!!

  5. Brandi on June 26th, 2009 6:39 pm

    I totally agree with everything Marsha said on June 26th. Those were my exact thoughts. I grieve for them as brother and sister in Christ. I think they do to back out of tv land and go back to church. They have lost focus as many of us do at times. It should be God, spouse, children, in that order.I noticed on the show as well it is all about the kids never their faith or their marriage, I will continue to pray for them.

  6. joyce on June 26th, 2009 7:54 pm

    I agreed with your thoughts completely, especially to do what it takes to get out of the lime light, and work on restoring the marriage, what ever it takes. In Jon & Kate’s case I feel strongly that they really have no choice but to commit themselves to reconcile because they have 8 kids that need a Mom and Dad. Divorce cannot be an option.They have to consider their kids before themselves. Divorce isn’t the answer, God is.

  7. allison on June 27th, 2009 5:56 am

    the Gosselins have made a public profession in Christ, but this is very disappointng seeing as it seems as if the influence of the media/World has been to much on their marriage. Unfortunately selfishness reigns because what will happen to their kids in the midst of this, no family unit and growing up in a broken home, could be past on.

  8. Lisa on June 28th, 2009 8:11 pm

    I too enjoy the show and have watched the unfolding of this marriage with great interest mostly because their Christian faith has been made clear. However, as a believer who has been through this pain, I don’t think it is fair for strangers to be armchair quarterbacks about the marriages of people we don’t know. Kate has made it clear that she wants to work on the marriage and John has made it clear that he does not. Is this a result of priorities out of line? Maybe. Is this a mid-life crisis of a couple with tremendous pressures? Possibly. Can Christ heal and restore even if a dad walks away from his family? Yes! That is one thing I know for sure!

  9. Laurie on June 30th, 2009 8:45 am

    I’ve watched this show since the beginning, and I’ve been wondering for several months now if there marriage was beginning to fall apart.

    I really enjoyed last night’s show, reviewing where they’ve come from. I hope the people involved get to see it–maybe they’ll remember, too.

    I was saddened to hear that Jon’s new girlfriend may be part of the show when it returns in August. His “excitement” about his new life frightens me. It seems that he’s not interested in carrying his part of the load, only picking up when he’s present and then setting it back down when he leaves.

    I’m praying for a miracle here! Who’s marriage hasn’t had challenges? I hope our prayers are encouragement to them and they find their way back to the Lord and to each other soon.

  10. David on July 5th, 2009 3:56 pm

    I agree. I think it’s sick that they are continuing the show as their marriage crashes. I just watched a brief clip for the very first time on YouTube, and my impression was that the show is merely a showcase for materialism. Is this what we have devolved to as a nation?

    It seems like Jon was already a dead man walking by the time Kate made the comment “We’ve got some *ironing* to do.”

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