When Your Child Is Diagnosed With Autism

Four years ago the neurologist confirmed what we suspected. “It is pretty clear he is on the autism disorder spectrum.” That helped us understand a little of the reasons for our two year-old’s behaviors. Unfortunately, the doctor told us to ignore most of what we found on the internet and come back in a year. That wasn’t much help! We were shocked, frankly, and a bit uncertain what to do…for a few months, until the Papa and Mama Bear instincts kicked in and we jumped into the information and became proactive.

Maybe you can relate? Or you know someone who can? Here’s an article with helpful tips on first steps parents can and should take when their child is diagniosed with autism.

I’d be interested in knowing what else you’d add for resources and action items for those parents who are just discovering the world of autism firsthand.

More on Balancing Work and Personal Life

I’ve had some good reactions and conversations resulting from my recent post about the blending of personal matters and work. And the topic remains in the news, as a couple of high-profile individuals have pretty much said – or simply demonstrated through their life – that if you want to be successful in the work-world you’ll need to sacrifice family and friends in the process.

But in her rise through the legal profession, she has made a number of personal sacrifices, most notably marriage and children.

The confirmation hearings for Judge Sonia Sotomayor have put the spotlight on her devotion to work. In fact, that may have been a factor which led to the end of her marriage to her high-school sweetheart.

“I cannot attribute that divorce to work,” she told a panel on judicial life. “But certainly the fact that I was leaving my home at 7:00am and getting back at 10:00pm was not of assistance in recognizing the problems developing in my marriage.”

Hmm. I don’t know about that. It seems likely that she chose to be a success at work, instead of making her marriage successful. I don’t know the circumstances, and don’t presume to make a values judgment, but that’s something I’ve seen other couples struggle with, some staying together and others breaking up.  In essence, we have choices in life, and some people choose accomplishments over relationships.

Then there is former GE Chairman Jack Welch, who recently made some comments at a conference to this effect (and this is my paraphrase):

Ladies, you can’t have it all. You can take time off from your career to care for your kids, but don’t expect to be a top candidate for a promotion when you re-enter the workplace. You’ve already demonstrated that your first allegiance is not to the company. You can’t have it all.

You can read Mr. Welch’s remarks here.

And then, be watching for a conversation with three Moms who left successful careers to stay at home with their kids. They share the joys and struggles they faced, and their candid admissions will be helpful to women who are thinking of stepping out of the work-place. That Focus on the Family broadcast, scheduled to air July 27-28, is further described here.

This can be a contentious matter, and I welcome your thoughts.

Yard Sale!

We’re certainly grateful for all the folks who stopped by to sell – or buy – stuff at the Focus on the Family Yard Sale. Our parking lot here was jammed at one point Saturday morning. I’m told 3,000 people stopped by to find treasures. Sellers donated a portion of their proceeds to Focus. So, in addition to cleaning out closets and garages, folks also helped us as we try to come alongside and encourage families.

There’s still time for YOU to have a little yard sale. Learn more about benefiting Focus, and find down loadable materials, here.

Teens Need To Know

If you have a teen in your home, consider this event. When it comes to preparing your child to think clearly and withstand the cultural onslaught that they’ll face in the coming years, this is time well spent!

Blending Personal and Working Hours

In our offices there are standards for personal use of computers, copiers and phones. There are expectations about breaks and lunch-hours. And there are assumptions about employees being conscientious and diligent, giving the organization an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wage.

That said, I’d observe a trend that is changing workplace dynamics a bit. It is something that some employers – and employees – may struggle with. The encroachment of personal “business” often collides with workplace “business.” Actually, it may be better framed as a blending of work and personal matters.

You know what I am talking about: that phone call that has to be done right now, or the stop to register your car – but not during the lunch-hour crush, the research about that trip that takes more than your lunch hour. I think most of us have something like this from time to time, a bit of personal business that takes away from our employer. The question is, what do we do about that?

As a manager I’ve tried to apply grace to such situations. Grace for the employee who has a need to do something during business hours. I do this with the understanding that he or she will make up the time, complete the project, deliver the results needed. I’ve found that people want to be treated as adults, with an atmosphere of trust allowing them to do some “time-shifting” as needed. They invariably do make good on the time they spent online or away.

As an employee, I want to be treated that way, and appreciate the many bosses I’ve had over the years who do grant grace for such times.

Here’s an article about the trend. read it and the comments. And then tell me what you have experienced, as an employee or employer.

Orphans In The News

My friends over at Christian Alliance For Orphans have mounted a positive campaign to counter the negative message of a new film. They are getting some press, for which I am thankful. Maybe you can help spread the word?

Meeting The President

Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family U.S., recently shared about the reason for his invitation to a White House event, and what he thought about President Obama’s remarks about the importance of fathers. Read the complete story over at Jim’s blog.

Caring For Your Parents

Over at the Boundless site, Motte Brown has summarized some salient points about honoring our parents when they are aged. I appreciate the article as my own parents and in-laws are in or nearing their 80s. And it is something I’ll talk to my own kids about, because I’m feeling a bit aged myself these days!

Parenting Lessons From TV

Well, I’ll admit I like the show, and I like the lessons one dad learned from Mythbusters.

Startling Differences

My friends Dr. Walt and Barb Larimore have survived a terrible ordeal, something which threatened their marriage and drove them to prayer on many occasions. It was traumatic, and – as they describe it – is something they hope will never, ever happen again.

They wrote a book together.

Now, I am smiling as I write this, because the Larimores characterized that book project just as I described it for you. It was really, really hard for them. The book isn’t about some crisis, it isn’t about something so painful they had never before talked about it. The book is about the differences between men and women.

Listen in and learn what those differences are and how they show up in your marriage – and how you can make the best of them. Especially if you are thinking of writing a book with your spouse.

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