Daily Challenge: The Heart

Good thing I read this verse yesterday morning, to remind me of the importance of the heart: “Flee youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on God out of a pure heart.” (2 Tim 2:22). It proved to be just what I needed to have in mind as I engaged in some child training later in the day.

Last night I just wanted to get to bed at a reasonable hour. I had a rather bad night of sleep the evening before, and so the body was feeling a bit weak. After a nice leisurely stroll-n-chat with my wife, we arrived home ready to retire for the night. Ah, sleep, here I come!

What’s this? Is that laughing or crying coming from the backyard? Seems my girls were playing an outdoor game of some sort, and as I listened in from the kitchen, it became apparent that there was some sort of altercation going on out there. Heading outside, I quickly found myself in the middle of a girl war. Two of my daughters had a little skirmish, one was crying, one was trying to argue her case to me and the third daughter was headed inside. Goodness, I hate those situations! Emotions run crazy, tears flow and it takes the wisdom of Solomon to figure out what’s really happened. I realized my hope of an early bedtime was going to be unrealized.

After about 10 minutes of listening, I finally had enough information to determine that I had two guilty parties, although one of the two disagreeing girls was, er, more guilty than the other. So, we talked. Half an hour later, she was in tears (oh good, now I have TWO crying girls). In the process, however, I think I was able to get to the heart of the matter. It was, from my perspective, childish selfishness on her part. That’s what this was really all about. And so I confronted her on it. It took a lot of digging, some gentle confrontation, and some Nehemiah-like quiet prayers that God would help her see the issues clearly. But I think we broke through the externals, the excuses, the self-righteousness and got her heart out into the light. The Light can touch and transform the heart. And I think last night He did a bit of work on my daughter’s heart. She seemed to understand a bit better how she had contributed to the fight. Better, she understood how her actions had upset and alienated her sisters. Not that they don’t love her, but in this case, they sure didn’t want to be around her. And she was the source of that aggravation and irritation. Whew, it was hard, but we finally achieved some understanding!

Around 11 or so things calmed down, and everyone was in bed. As I locked up the house, I thought about the daily challenge for parents who care to go there: Getting to the heart of our kids is imperative. I can only enforce externals to a point. And those behaviors won’t improve if I focus solely on rule enforcement. Yes, we need to have some rules and expectations, but without addressing the heart we’ll miss out on the most important part of parenting.

Our prayer and our intention is to help our children rightly see their own hearts, and consider God’s desires for their lives. We want to bring their internal impulses into alignment with His purposes and plans. Only then will they develop godly character and only then will their external behaviors be less selfish and more Christ-like. The internal compass has to be properly calibrated for the child to take the right direction in life.  It isn’t a magic formula, and it is certainly not an easy task, especially later in the evening when we’re tired! But in the long run, I believe this is the right approach. We are helping our kids live an examined life, one which goes to the deeper matters and which ponders the heart — and God’s heart, too.

Teen Girls and Self-Esteem

Our youth – especially female teens – are the most marketed to people group in history. Whether it’s the glossy teen magazines or the latest video download, these kids are constantly bombarded with messages about their beliefs, their style, and their morality.

You may have heard about the “Blazing Lies” test. If not, look for it here (about half way down the page) and see how well you understand the deceptions of modern-day culture.

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