Lessons From Letterman

Posted on October 8, 2009 
Filed Under Marriage, Media, Personal, Social Concern

I am not a regular viewer of late night television, and I hadn’t intended to post about the David Letterman situation. The matter continues to capture headlines and the public’s attention, though, so I’ve thought some more about what happened and what lessons we might learn from the scandal.

First, Mr. Letterman was wrong in engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage. He knew it then, he certainly knows it now. He offered apologies to his staff and more importantly, to his wife. That’s good, but ouch, it as painful to watch. I truly hope his wife is forgiving, and that their marriage survives this incident. But there’s an important lesson here: Stay faithful to your spouse, and don’t have sex if you aren’t married.

Second, it is apparent that our expectations – as the general public – about moral behavior are not very high. Witness the recent support for disgraced film-maker Roman Polanski, who years ago fled the U.S. after pleading guilty to raping a 13 year-old. When Swiss authorities arrested Polanski, more than 100 prominent Hollywood figures rallied to his defense and suggested that Polanski is such a talented filmmaker, with such a body of great work, that there’s no real basis for bringing him back to the U.S. Excuse me? We’re supposed to dismiss his criminal behavior because he’s a successful artist? Whatever happened to justice?

Related, there was the commentator who said that Letterman didn’t do anything illegal, and he is just a “victim” of the alleged extortion plot. The label of “victim” really seems more appropriate for those employees he had relations with, not for the host. While technically true that there doesn’t seem to be illegal activity here, sexual harassment charges might be pursued. Similar to the Polanski argument, this was a case of overlooking Letterman’s actions because he is a popular entertainer.

Then there’s our cultural preoccupation with Jon and Kate, the seemingly never-ending saga of a young (Christian?) couple with eight young children. Their marital break-up is frequently in the news, and at last report their once-popular television show will be re-titled “Kate Plus 8.” Folks read and watch this marriage as it disintegrates — as if we’re slowing down to gawk at the fender bender that just happened, a morbid fascination with the tragedy unfolding before us.

Lesson two: The public is usually unwilling to apply moral standards to those in the entertainment business,  because they…entertain us. It seems we’re willing to overlook almost any behavior if you are a celebrity.

Back to the Letterman situation, it is apparent many people are quite forgiving and willing to accept his behavior. They will still watch Dave, and still laugh at his jokes. Still, others are taking the guy to task, suggesting he should get off the air and pay a penalty for his sins. They’ll probably not watch him anymore, distracted and somewhat offended by his personal behaviors. Which leads to lesson three: No matter how you handle a moral failure, there will be both critics and supporters. You can explain and you can apologize, but know that you’ll never be able to garner 100% support when you’ve failed others. Your reputation may recover, but not likely.

An overarching lesson from this incident is probably this: integrity matters. No matter what Mr. Letterman does to “fix” this situation, people have been hurt, he has lost some respect and credibility, and nothing will help him rebuild that sense of broken trust with the general public.

I take no joy in seeing any marriage damaged by infidelity, nor in seeing any person’s personal failings made public. David Letterman is paying a high price for his impulsive behaviors, and I pray he will find true forgiveness from his wife; also that this difficulty will lead him to the forgiving God who alone can offer ultimate healing.

Comments

4 Responses to “Lessons From Letterman”

  1. Christine on October 8th, 2009 9:09 pm

    well said….right on….thank you

  2. Paul on October 15th, 2009 8:38 am

    Good word, thanks!

  3. J.C. on October 25th, 2009 9:28 am

    Given the type of person that Letterman is, I am really not surprised. I don’t watch TV, but I remember hearing a segment with him on the radio several years ago, and he was making off-color double entendres throughout the show, and throwing out curses like “eat &^%#, die and go to #*!! “. I don’t understand how most people could even sit through a whole hour of that sort of thing.

  4. Paul on October 26th, 2009 7:54 am

    I’m sorry to say that I once used to watch the Late Show with Lettermen. Actually, I used to watch more than that, and like most people, including many christians I know, I was “used” to it, I found myself watching junk that wasn’t good for me. My wife and I decided to start weaning ourselves off TV, and when the digital switch came, we stopped watching TV at our house. It is a real problem in this country, and in the church, I mean that fact that we are addicted to entertainment so deeply.

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