Tale of Two Leaders

I recently reflected upon two biblical leaders. After reading their stories and thinking a bit, I offer some observations, thoughts and reflections about their failures and successes. And some application, for each one of us who are given the opportunity – and privilege – to lead others.

In 1 Kings, chapter 12, we see that Rehoboam, son of Solomon, failed to exercise his leadership with any real success. All of Israel came to Shechem to make him king, and it seems that he did have a great deal of popular support. However, he soon squandered that.

The new king was asked by Jeroboam and the entire assembly to “be considerate and lighten the load upon the people.” They assured him that such leadership would lead to their “followership,” saying “we will serve you” (if you listen to our concerns).

Rehoboam sought counsel from two diverse sources. First, he heard from the older men of his inner circle. They wisely advised him to “be a servant to this people, answer them well, and they will serve you forever.” Scripture tells us that, unfortunately, Rehoboam rejected their sage advice.

Then the throne turned to younger men (evidently Rehoboam’s peers), who said essentially that he ought to chastise the whiners, assert his authority and power, and aggressively enforce his very high standards.” Such talk appealed to the King’s pride and ego, and it seems, was irresistible.

We see in verse 15 the sad account of the decision Rehoboam made. He “did not hearken to the people” – dismissed their concerns – and in return, Israel revolted and instead followed Jeroboam.

Rehobaom showed arrogance, egotism, selfishness and foolishness. The outcome was a “divided kingdom” for the next 444 years. His poor leadership affected ten generations to come.

On the other hand, a man who had to deal with the effects of that divided kingdom, Nehemiah, was found to be a godly, effective leader of Jerusalem. After the Babylonians had captured Jerusalem and carried away captives, the holy city was left virtually destroyed. The story is chronicled in the Old Testament book of Nehemiah.

Chapter one records the beginnings of this leader. When Nehemiah learned of Jerusalem’s disrepair, he sat down and wept, mourned for days, and continued to fast and pray. A leader who cared, genuinely, about the city and its inhabitants, was about to be released by God to do a great work there! It started with his heart and humility.

Some time later (as detailed in Nehemiah chapter 5), after he started the rebuilding process, Nehemiah heard about injustice among the people. A practice of greed and usury was being carried out, even as he was attempting a big work which could hardly afford for any lack of unity among the people. His response was not to overlook or ignore the situation. Instead, he expressed empathy and then called the people (with a big vision) to something better: treat each other fairly, justly, selflessly. And then, in effect, he said to them, “And I will show you what that looks like.”

He demonstrated sensitivity to the people’s sufferings by not laying heavy burdens or taxation upon them. Nehemiah reflected humility before God by refusing the trappings of power. He lived a life of frugality when he refused the typically generous governor’s food portions which were standard for those public officials. He showed a spirit of inclusion when he regularly invited quite a diverse cross-section of guests at his meals.

Nehemiah accomplished much with little – and in only 52 days the walls of Jerusalem, decrepit for so long, were rebuilt sufficiently to protect the refuges there and keep them safe from attack. He led wisely and with personal godliness, humility, empathy, and vision. He is often looked to as a very effective, successful leader.

The applications we can take from these two men are numerous. I could make a long list of ‘do’s and don’ts” but will try to boil my own thoughts down to two points. First, when we lead out of our own egotistical needs and with indifference toward our followers, we often cultivate difficulty and even disaster. This was tragically the case for Rehoboam.

Second, and conversely, when we lead with godly humility and with sensitivity to our followers and their concerns, we will often find great things happen. People will follow us more willingly and through hardship and challenges when we first show we care.

Followers want to know we care. When they have that assurance, as seen by our actions and attitudes, they’ll likely follow us through many difficulties and challenges.

What’s Been Playing

If you haven’t been tuned in lately, here’s what you’ve missed on the daily Focus on the Family broadcast:

We’ve had some strong programming. I hope you’re benefiting from the conversations!

Today Is Important

“There are no unimportant days in your life.” John Piper said that; the entire quote is here.

What’s Wrong With A Surprise?

Continuing a theme of “I must be getting old,” this just seems wrong to me. I’d prefer an element of surprise.

A Little Common Sense In School?

Maybe I am missing the point of “zero-tolerance” policies that offer a one-size-fits-all approach to school safety. I understand generally why school administrations have these policies, but the recent story of a 6 year- old boy’s suspension illustrates the death of common sense.

If you didn’t hear about it, Zachary Christie was suspended from first grade because he brought a Cub Scout camping  utensil – a combination knife/fork/spoon – to eat his lunch. Excuse me, but I have a 6 yr-old, and he is so innocent in such matters that he may have already done something like that without my knowledge. Goodness, its a little boy – how can we expect him to think through the consequences of such a harmless act?If the child were older, I could see having higher expectations. But to think that a first grader is going to really hurt someone with an eating utensil seems rather absurd. But maybe I’m wrong.

I’ll ask some friends who have served on school boards what they think of this. Meantime, what do YOU think of the zero tolerance policy concept? And would you dismiss the charges for little Zachary?

Lessons From Letterman

I am not a regular viewer of late night television, and I hadn’t intended to post about the David Letterman situation. The matter continues to capture headlines and the public’s attention, though, so I’ve thought some more about what happened and what lessons we might learn from the scandal.

First, Mr. Letterman was wrong in engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage. He knew it then, he certainly knows it now. He offered apologies to his staff and more importantly, to his wife. That’s good, but ouch, it as painful to watch. I truly hope his wife is forgiving, and that their marriage survives this incident. But there’s an important lesson here: Stay faithful to your spouse, and don’t have sex if you aren’t married.

Second, it is apparent that our expectations – as the general public – about moral behavior are not very high. Witness the recent support for disgraced film-maker Roman Polanski, who years ago fled the U.S. after pleading guilty to raping a 13 year-old. When Swiss authorities arrested Polanski, more than 100 prominent Hollywood figures rallied to his defense and suggested that Polanski is such a talented filmmaker, with such a body of great work, that there’s no real basis for bringing him back to the U.S. Excuse me? We’re supposed to dismiss his criminal behavior because he’s a successful artist? Whatever happened to justice?

Related, there was the commentator who said that Letterman didn’t do anything illegal, and he is just a “victim” of the alleged extortion plot. The label of “victim” really seems more appropriate for those employees he had relations with, not for the host. While technically true that there doesn’t seem to be illegal activity here, sexual harassment charges might be pursued. Similar to the Polanski argument, this was a case of overlooking Letterman’s actions because he is a popular entertainer.

Then there’s our cultural preoccupation with Jon and Kate, the seemingly never-ending saga of a young (Christian?) couple with eight young children. Their marital break-up is frequently in the news, and at last report their once-popular television show will be re-titled “Kate Plus 8.” Folks read and watch this marriage as it disintegrates — as if we’re slowing down to gawk at the fender bender that just happened, a morbid fascination with the tragedy unfolding before us.

Lesson two: The public is usually unwilling to apply moral standards to those in the entertainment business,  because they…entertain us. It seems we’re willing to overlook almost any behavior if you are a celebrity.

Back to the Letterman situation, it is apparent many people are quite forgiving and willing to accept his behavior. They will still watch Dave, and still laugh at his jokes. Still, others are taking the guy to task, suggesting he should get off the air and pay a penalty for his sins. They’ll probably not watch him anymore, distracted and somewhat offended by his personal behaviors. Which leads to lesson three: No matter how you handle a moral failure, there will be both critics and supporters. You can explain and you can apologize, but know that you’ll never be able to garner 100% support when you’ve failed others. Your reputation may recover, but not likely.

An overarching lesson from this incident is probably this: integrity matters. No matter what Mr. Letterman does to “fix” this situation, people have been hurt, he has lost some respect and credibility, and nothing will help him rebuild that sense of broken trust with the general public.

I take no joy in seeing any marriage damaged by infidelity, nor in seeing any person’s personal failings made public. David Letterman is paying a high price for his impulsive behaviors, and I pray he will find true forgiveness from his wife; also that this difficulty will lead him to the forgiving God who alone can offer ultimate healing.

Talk Talk Talk

According to this NY Times story, new parents are dropping the ball on something quite important: talking to their child. The research shows most parents – even infants and toddlers – aren’t talking much with their younger children, even in simple ways, about simple things. It is vital that youngsters learn from Mom and Dad about the world around them. So observing the color of buildings, pointing out the approaching dog, and noticing the loud siren of the passing fire truck, reading and singing – it all builds language and comprehension skills in our kids. I wonder why such primary activities as engaging verbally with our kids is so hard?

Seeing these stats, it occurs to me that this is rudimentary parenting, but perhaps we’ve got a communication breakdown between the wisdom of previous generations and today’s busy, multi-tasking, media-savvy Gen Y parents? Maybe the common-sense approach taken by generations before have been lost in the shuffle. Or maybe today’s parents don’t fully grasp how significant their role is in the life of that little one. Regardless, our cultural penchant for speed, safety and frankly, selfishness all seem to be adding to an inability or unwillingness to fully engage in our kids’ lives.

Care to learn more? Here’s a starting point for more “parenting 101″ information from Focus on the Family, with articles and links covering those early years.

God Gives Life

Looking ahead to the weekend, I’m eagerly anticipating this year’s Life Network Gala. This local ministry is having a great impact on many lives, and I’m privileged to be the emcee for the evening. If you live in or near Colorado Springs, I hope you’ll join us Saturday evening for a celebration of life.

Related, I recently wrote some reflections about the sanctity of life. In light of Saturday’s event it seemed appropriate to share those here:

I hate the “quality of life” argument that is used to justify some abortions. Genetic testing has brought more information to parents about their preborn child, and while the technology has and is used for some good, it has also unlocked a Pandora’s Box of “choices” about who can live and who will not. The notion that there is some subjective “quality of life” standard by which we measure the value of an individual is ludicrous. Yet, some physicians and parents will see that a preborn child may have some abnormality which is so significant that is is somehow “best” for that child to be aborted.

Years ago I read Koop and Schaeffer’s book, Whatever Happened To The Human Race, in which they powerfully argued that the “handicapped” individual is quite capable of being happy, of having a rich and meaningful life. The authors asked, “Who are we (the presumably healthy individuals) to suggest they aren’t worthy of life?” Indeed. What we see in our culture, though, is that very argument being applied to those outside of “normal.”

We hear about value judgments being made about who might receive medical treatment. There’s a real possibility that in a nationalized health care system, the elderly, or those with “incurable” conditions, will not receive the level of care they deserve. I am troubled deeply by such “quality of life” arguments. What audacity. What recklessness. What an affront to the Maker of Life.

Quality of life? I’m glad my friend Roger and his wife didn’t accept their doctor’s advice to abort because of a potentially terrible brain condition in their baby. She wouldn’t have much of a life, they were told, if she even lived past the birth. Probably be unresponsive and have no real mental capacity. How wrong that advice was! Thirteen years later, she is a vibrant girl who is active in performing arts, has a vivacious personality and is  loved by all who know her. I’m glad her parents chose life!

Coach Gene Stallings, a broadcast guest, shared powerfully about the incredible joys his son experienced as an individual – and the joy he brought so many others. Despite Down Syndrome, or perhaps because of Downs, Johnny touched many and was loved by all. Coach Gene Stallings said it wasn’t easy raising his son, but he accepted the boy as God designed him, and the love that man had for his precious Johnny was easily seen by all. Who had an unacceptable “quality of life?” I was deeply moved as Coach shared about his son.

The handicapped, the physically frail, the special needs person, the “less fortunate” among us is still created in the image of the Almighty. Let’s not “play God” any more. Let’s accept the gifts the Creator gives us. Even those packaged differently than we expected. Let’s honor God by honoring His beloved creations, and let’s give every person the respect he or she deserves. And let’s see God moving through the least of His people. Every life is sacred, every life is valued.

Focus on the Family has a number of online materials on the topic of abortion and the sanctity of human life:

For statistics and quick facts about abortion, as well as scriptural evidence supporting the sanctity of every human life, visit the Bioethics area of CitizenLink.org.

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