Hearts For Orphans

My friend Paul Pennington blogged today about the need for good people to do good deeds…specifically with regard to the 140 million fatherless children of the world. What happens when 1,000 committed individuals and organizations gather together to address the needs of orphans? Read the post for some inspiration – and suggestions.
And if you’d like to know more about Focus on the Family’s orphan care efforts, stop by this site.

How Much House?

We bought our house 11 years ago, and since then have added to our family. We love our neighborhood, and we’ve been very  content here. We also like our relatively low payments, the fact that we’re nearing the end of the mortgage, the many fond memories we’ve had here over the years, the quiet location and wonderful neighbors.

Still, at times we’ve felt cramped, particularly as our kids have gotten older. They’ve acquired more stuff and wanted more room. We have the three girls in one bedroom, and there have been conflicts over differing views of cleanliness. And when we visit friends, we’re usually aware of the more generous space many of them enjoy. So, every now and then we wonder what it’d be like to have a larger house.

This article and the related comments explores the pros – and cons – of more space. The author suggests less is a good thing. But I wonder how other families feel about that – do you sometimes want more space, like us? Or do you wish you had less house to care for – and pay for? Something to think about.

Parenting Autism

I have an autistic son. Although Zane continues to progress very well, his autism remains a significant part of his life. He has plenty of what I refer to as “autistic moments,” times when he gets stuck on some detail of life and seems to be unable to pull away from it, times when he asks questions – really strange questions – that remind me his brain doesn’t process information like mine does, times when he gets unusually frustrated about something that most kids would not think twice about. And while he is only six, I do sometimes wonder what life will be like for him when he is an adult. I pray he will live a fulfilling, independent life – and that he will know God.We just don’t know, however, what the coming years have for Zane.

The other day I saw this post in the New York Times, and as I read it I was really touched. It seems to capture, both candidly and rather beautifully, what parenting an adult with autism is like. My heart goes out to Laura Shumaker, the author, and to every parent of an adult special needs child. Such a calling is difficult and at times exhausting…and also an assignment from God to help us know His heart better.

Welcome To Colorado, Tim Tebow!

There’s been a lot of surprise at the Denver Broncos‘ choice of Tim Tebow in the first round of last night’s NFL draft. From what I’ve seen, many fans are excited about the addition of this promising talent, especially given his work ethic and his personal faith.

In light of his pending move to Colorado, I’ll offer the following suggestions to Mr. Tebow, hoping that he’ll make the transition to our state as well as possible.

Those are some initial suggestions to help with Tim’s move – or maybe yours? – to Colorado. Maybe you have additional thoughts…leave a comment.

UPDATE: See Jim Daly’s blog for his post welcoming Tim to Denver.

UPDATE: I should have congratulated OU’s Sam Bradford for his selection as the number one overall draft pick! Great to see the Rams’ confidence in his future. Also, congrats to Texas QB Colt McCoy on his new home in Cleveland (and you are still wearing orange! Go ‘Horns!). Two outstanding young men who have strong testimonies about their faith. Click their names to see why they are really “second,” despite their draft status.

Is There A Favorite Parent?

Until this morning, I’d always thought that kids go through seasons when they naturally tend to pick one of us parents instead of the other. Specifically, for the first several years my children have been “all Mommy, all the time.”  If I wanted to hold them, the answer was something like this: “No Daddy, but MOMMY can hold me.” I attributed such preferences to Dena’s natural nurturing personality. And it was okay.

As they’ve aged, my kids have made me the “go to” guy for a lot of things, and I know they like spending time with me.  So it has seemed reasonable to view such preferences as somewhat seasonal and related more to our giftings and strengths as parents.

I’ve not really thought much about these things, until I saw this rather provocative headline: “Are You The Favored Parent?” Author Ellen Weber Libby suggests there are many reasons that Moms and Dads actually seek out the “favored parent” status, and that such approaches to parenting might be more related to our own adult insecurities or emotional needs, and less to the preferences of children. She says,

“Why can it be so important for one parent to feel favored? …It is normal to want to be chosen or selected. Some parents are deliberate in the desires to be the favorite parent.”

Libby goes on to say that such intentional efforts to be “number one parent” could be tied to rejection we felt from our own parents, or from feelings of inadequacies within our marriage.

So ow I’m examining my own approach to parenting the six kids we’ve been blessed with, and to ask myself about the motives for my own behaviors. Not a bad thing…a little self-examination is usually helpful in sorting out those  underlying reasons for doing what I do.

What do you think? Are you a favored parent? Are you trying to be one?

Twitter: Yeah, We’re There

You may not know it, but Focus on the Family has a growing commitment to social media. For instance:

Followers of @MyFocusRadio will see who and what are being discussed on our daily Focus on the Family broadcast.

My personal Twitter account is @FullerJohn.

Focus’ President and CEO Jim Daly is @DalyFocus.

Our marriage department offers daily tips for strengthening your marriage on Twitter (@focusmarriage). Tweets include quotes for encouragement, reminders for your marriage and links back to Focus marriage resources.

Young married couples can get updates on new content by following @YoungMarried.

The Focus parenting department (@FocusParenting) offers weekday tips for discipline, passing your faith, protecting your kids and strengthening your family relationships on Twitter. Tweets include links back to parenting articles, questions & answers, audio, video and discussion threads.

@ThrivingFamily is our brand new, beautiful bi-monthly magazine.

New blog posts, articles and podcasts geared for young adults here: @BoundlessTeam.

Newly married couples can get updates on new content by following @YoungMarried.

@FocusLeadership is the feed for our semester-long program for college students, with daily tweets that include leadership quotes as well as what the FLI students are doing, from classroom topics and guest speakers to activities.

@TheTruthProject is also on Twitter.

Also on Twitter: @WaitNoMore, with events and information about caring for orphans.

If you like to keep up with policy news and issues, follow @CitizenLink and @DriveThruBlog.

If you live in or will be visiting Colorado Springs, follow @FocusBookstore to learn about sales, events, book signings and more!

Even Focus on the Family International Offices are on Twitter!

And if you prefer other social media platforms, around 35,000 people follow us on Facebook.

To learn more, see the links here.

NFL Draft and Tim Tebow

Alright, I’m not a big follower of the NFL draft. While I do read about the prospects and picks, I don’t make projections, I don’t count down the days until the draft and I don’t skip work to watch the drama unfold on television. But since Focus and Tim Tebow worked so closely on that Super Bowl ad, I decided today to see what the press is saying about the gifted quarterback.

Of the articles I read, this one stood out. It speaks highly of Tim’s work ethic and desire to excel. I thought it reflected well on Tim, his parents, and the God who gave Tim the tools to be a football player.

So I guess I WILL watch the draft, with all its drama, if only to see what doors God opens for Tim.

BTW, Focus President Jim Daly has a post here about Tim Tebow and his principles.

WIR, April 16

This past week we enjoyed some great radio conversations:

In addition, our radio team was in Dallas, Texas earlier this week for some live radio. Here’s a slideshow of just some of the activities from that time. We’ll be doing this a number of times in the coming months, and you can see if we’re coming to your city here.

RAD And Adoption

I think this is an insightful, balanced and very good article about the realities of RAD – Reactive Attachment Disorder, which likely was a factor in the story of the adopted Russian boy who was returned to that country. For those parents who struggle with RAD, there is often a lot of guilt, condemnation and misunderstanding…and little empathy (see some of the comments).

And if you’re interested in more info, here’s a great series of articles about adopted children, including handling difficult situations.

Teen Drinking Leads To Disease

Parents, here’s new research to share with your child, showing that drinking by teen girls can lead to “benign breast disease or noncancerous lumps, bumps or cysts in the breast.”

One expert cited in the article said,

“The habits that you develop as an adolescent are likely to turn into lifelong habits, and we know that drinking in adult women is a risk factor for breast cancer.”

Food for thought, and something I’ll be sharing with my own kids.

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