When Is Parenting Over?

Posted on August 27, 2010 
Filed Under Fathering, Parenting, Personal

Three years ago we said “Goodbye” to our oldest, sending him off to college. I’ve written here before about that transition. Truthfully, it was a hard season. I wasn’t prepared for the meaning of the event, and the lingering difficulties associated with having a child out on his own. We missed our son and his presence in the home!

I’m reminded of that process of raising a child, then saying goodbye as we did that very thing – once more – this morning. I was up at 4:20 a.m. to take Dakota and also his younger brother, Seth to the airport.

Taken at 5 a.m. today, at the Colorado Springs airport. Seth and Dakota are off for adventure!

As I write this, they are en route to two destinations 1,000 miles away from home. Big brother now tackles his final year at Hillsdale College in Michigan. Son #2 is off to Portland, Oregon to stretch his wings a bit. So the transition is happening yet again. My sons are now men, and our relationship is changed forever. Life in our home will be very different without these boys – we love them dearly, and will miss their help, conversations and humor.

So today, especially, I’m feeling the loud “tick tock” of the clock. It is really hard to believe that we’re already pretty much done with the training of two – two! – kids. While they’ll likely seek out wisdom from time to time, we’re watching them make life work out on their own terms. Now we only have four left in the home – wow!

As I reflect, I think back to the earlier years of sleepless nights, emotional outbreaks, temper tantrums and such. About those bleary-eyed days and nights, another parent wondered,

“When is my work as a parent done?”

From what I can tell, the parenting journey is a life-long marathon. It certainly doesn’t end with a child’s 18th birthday or their move out of the house. It changes, then, of course. But our work as Moms and Dads begins before that baby enters the world and ends…when? Based on observation and the on-going trials some parents I know are enduring – with their adult kids – truth be told, probably never!

Parenting is one tough, lifelong job. As to the importance of the role, the late Adrian Rogers observed,

Home is the university of life, with parents as the professors, children as students and life as the lab.

You may not be able to grasp how quickly time flies past, especially if you are stressed by raising young children right now. Those early years can be hard – and, in fact, the entire parenting journey can be hard! But you are training your child – intentionally or not – and soon enough he or she will head off for “life.”

As the old song said,

Teach your children well…

While I ponder these past years with our now grown boys, I feel compelled to encourage parents with younger kids to make the most of these years of “education.” Maximize the opportunities – while you have them! Make memories. Give parenting your all. Pour into that child and keep your eyes set on the goal: to have a healthy well-adjusted adult who has character and loves God. Seize the moment, and drink in the gifts God gives to you today as a mom or dad. You’ll always be  parent, but one day you’ll have a different relationship with that child, that of friend. Do the early years well, and look forward to having kids that you can enjoy when they are adults.

So, your job as a parent is not over – ever. Decide today to run this race with endurance and hope, and with joy! I’m committed to do so as today, and will let the day’s emotions and reflections push me to be a better dad.

Comments

2 Responses to “When Is Parenting Over?”

  1. Lee Ann on August 28th, 2010 2:08 pm

    Great blog entry John . . . appreciate it — my eldest is a high school senior and the sound of the “clock ticking” echoes in my ears (and heart!). Thank you for the wonderful reflections and parenting insights. Blessings to you and your two young men in this next season of life.
    Lee Ann Jackson
    Southern California

  2. Aileen on September 24th, 2010 2:04 pm

    I so appreciated John’s thoughts on today’s blog topic of parenting as I sit alone in my kitchen with my only child away for her second year in Southern California. Only earlier this week, she called me for help/advice and had one of her usual “attitudes.” I responded by telling her to “get a grip,” only to have her hang up on me. I know my kid is basically a God-fearing, good kid with a tender heart and strong values. But there are days when I just get really discouraged and wonder why I’m putting up with all of this. And then I remember that God gives us our kids for only a season and that it’s up to us to make the most of that time. Hang in there – one day we’ll see the fruition of blessings God intended for us.

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