“Tiger Mom” – Right or Wrong?

Posted on January 24, 2011 
Filed Under Parenting

The uproar about Amy Chua’s book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” is still echoing in the media. Her account of a tightly controlled, highly disciplined, no-fun, hard-driving, no-holds-barred mothering brought accolades from some, and scowls of disbelief from others.

Chua noted that her Chinese immigrant parents inspired her own views on raising children. She set exceptionally strict standards for her two daughters, who weren’t allowed to have sleepovers, watch television, or ever get less than an A on their report cards. Instead, they had to practice their piano and violin for several hours a day, even while on vacation – nothing less than excellence was accepted by Chua. The author – a Yale professor – claims this parenting style is the reason that Asian kids do so well. She further posits that the typical American child grows up with too many privileges, too few rules and soft parents who are raising under-achievers.

The controversial approach to parenting generated a lot – a LOT – of discussion on blogs and in newspaper comment sections, igniting a firestorm of introspection and defensive explanations about why Chua is wrong, right or somewhere in between. If you have time to do so, check out the reader reactions at some of the online review forums. There’s also quite a bit of chatter from “parenting experts,” who seem to have a similarly wide range of reactions to Chua’s reflections.

I have the feeling that regulating external behavior, while good, isn’t always productive in the long-term. For instance, here’s an overview of testimonials about growing up with a “Tiger Mom.” There’s also an insightful quote from Chua, who said about one major newspaper’s treatment of the book,

…the worst thing was, they didn’t even hint that the book is about a journey and that the person at beginning of the book is different from the person at the end – that I get my comeuppance and retreat from this very strict Chinese parenting model.

Anyway, this is a pretty interesting conversation to have, and I’d suggest you read more, including this series of articles about successful parenting. I’ll also welcome your comments about this rather emotional topic.

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