Radio Is Reaching Our Military

If you’ve ever supported the work of Focus on the Family, through prayer and/or a financial contribution, you are a part of a dynamic outreach to those who need a good word! The following note was encouraging for us, and I hope it’ll be so for you, too:

I just wanted to say how great it is to be able to listen to Focus on the Family’s daily broadcasts online.  I’m in the military, and…most of the people I work with are not Christians, which is apparent in their lifestyles and vocabulary.  I listen to your programs at work.  Sometimes people aren’t quite sure what to say when they ask what I’m listening to and I tell them ‘Focus on the Family.’  However, it is a good way to spread the word about the Lord and tell people about your ministry.  It’s always nice to know that I can hop online and gain encouragement from your broadcasts (it is especially helpful on deployments when my surroundings are strange and scary).
We’re privileged to be used by God to speak into the lives of those serving in the military. I hope that you’ll consider a gift of $10 or $20 today to help us continue reaching out through radio, websites and more. In fact, right now you can effectively double your donation, thanks to a matching grant from some special friends of Focus on the Family. Find out more here.

Advice For First Time Dads

I’m very pleased that the Focus on the Family radio program about my book, First Time Dad, re-airs today as part of the “Best of 2011″ series. What a privilege to share from my own experiences with new fathers. Here’s a reflection on some early memories as we anticipated the arrival of our first child.

If you visit the Amtrak level of New York City’s Penn Station, you’ll notice a large schedule board that hangs from the ceiling. At rush hour, crowds gather there, sometimes several people deep, to await their train’s track assignment. People are eager to make a beeline for the train to get a good seat. Just prior to the boarding announcement, a voice bellows from the speakers: “Ready! Ready! Ready! Ready!” The passengers grab their bags and brace themselves for the sprint downstairs.

That’s a lot how we felt in those days leading up to Dakota’s arrival. We were ready. Our bags were packed, and we had one in each hand.

If having a child is akin to a college final, we were prepared to ace the exam. Within months we were set to take on the biggest responsibility we’d ever known, the most significant work a person can do. We knew that raising a child is a fearful and wonderful job, one that never really ends, but one for which we were as prepared as we could be.

Or so we thought.

Simply thinking, reading, and talking about our new roles of dad and mom wasn’t enough. Looking back, I realize just how little I really knew about being a dad when our firstborn entered the world.

If you’re feeling confident, or even if you have some reservations, about becoming a new parent, I’ll encourage you to listen to the conversation, download the free materials (over there on the right side of this page) and maybe even get a copy of my book.

And maybe you can share a story from your early parenting experiences here in the comments section? Thanks!

Autism In The News

Several recent articles and reports about autism that have caught my attention:

“There’s an app for that.” The Marietta Times reports about the local use of technology, specifically Apple’s iPad and some unique applications, to assist students with autism.

Questions every parent of a special needs child asks, and one that my wife and I have pondered: What happens when our son, who has autism, grows up? Will he be able to lead a happy, productive and independent life? One family’s story is linked here.

“The fact that it was five times as much was quite shocking.” That’s one scientist’s reaction to a possible link between low birth weight and autism. Newspaper coverage of that report is here.

And, from California, one study that examines the possibility that autism individuals have more brain cells than non-autistic persons.  “For the first time, we have the potential to understand why autism gets started,” said the study’s author.

Finally, this radio conversation remains one of my favorites from 2011. Chuck Colson talks lovingly about his grandson, Max. We featured Chuck’s daughter, Emily Colson, who shared tender and touching moments of raising Max. It is a must-listen to for anyone with an autistic child in their lives.

Penn State and Doing The Right Thing

Despite knowing Jim Daly for 20 years, I had never heard about the encounter, which happened when he was only 10 years old. And when Jim shared that short personal story on today’s Focus on the Family radio program, I was rather shocked. It revealed yet another reason why he is such a passionate advocate for children.

Tune in on your local radio station, or listen here, and you’ll also hear some unique perspectives about the Penn State situation from our guests Bob and Dannah Gresh. They live in State College, PA and also have a son who is a student at Penn State.  They’ll tell about the reaction of the local community, and offer insights about the need for every one of us to stand up and do the right thing when we see — or even when we suspect — evil-doing.

Finally, Focus on the Family offers counseling and resources for those who were a victim of childhood sexual abuse. You’ll find those, along with blog entries from Jim, Dannah and others about Penn State, right here and also here.

 

Thank You, Veterans

Today as we honor those who have served in our military, a story, a few links and a suggestion.

First, some feedback from a listener:

“My husband is a soldier; he’s been deployed overseas to the combat zone and will hopefully be returning soon.  About a week ago I called Focus to ask some questions related to welcoming him home.  A chaplain from your staff called back, offered helpful suggestions and prayed for our family.  You also sent me some materials that offer information and encouragement.  I can’t tell you how much your kindness means to me.  I am very proud of my husband, and it has been wonderful to hear him describe how he has been witnessing to people while deployed.  We both know this was where God wanted him.  Thank you very much for all the help and prayer that you offer military families.  It is only by God’s grace and the prayers of His people that we are able to continue on with joy and thanksgiving.”

We LOVE hearing from someone we’ve helped. And if you donate to Focus on the Family, you played a part in reaching out to this family in a time of real need.

If you are military, or like me have friends who serve, you should know about some of the practical things we offer families. Let me start by pointing to Dr. Gary Rosberg and his wife Barb, who have a great outreach to military families. Here’s a radio conversation with them about common issues of communication, control and coming together for deployed families.

Related, here’s an article with firsthand insights about some of the challenges couples and parents face when returning home.

In this two-day series, Retired Maj. Gen. Doug Carver and retired Capt. Mike Langston discuss their experiences as military chaplains and their ministry to soldiers on the battlefield. They have some dramatic stories and huge hearts for the men and women they worked with as chaplains.

Here’s a radio program about the realities of life with PTSD, featuring an incredible story of survival and the on-going difficulties. We also offer trusted counseling advice to help with some of the basics for those returning from battle – and those awaiting them.

Alright, now for a suggestion (two, actually). Practically, one way to support our troops in the most important aspects of their service – their faith in God – we’ve got an easy and significant opportunity. Give a dramatized audio Bible to a soldier on the field…and offer them God’s Word. Details here. So far, your financial help has helped hundreds of these unique and powerful tools be ‘deployed.”

Finally, a reminder to take a minute to thank a veteran, and to thank God for the privileges we have in this country.

 

 

 

 

Taking A Look Ahead

Looking ahead...what do you see?

It was loaded on my iPod, and while I had heard it dozens of times – often cranked up loud on my first “real” stereo system back in my college days – I’m not sure I ever really listened to the lyrics. That particular morning, though, as I walked along the road in the middle of Gunnison County, surrounded by beautiful mountains and enjoying some solitude, I listened and heard the meaning of the song. And on this lovely day I thought they were pretty profound.

Back in 1976 the band Boston released their debut album. It was a highly successful project. An ardent follower of the pop and rock music scene, I played this album a lot — probably a hundred times a year. One song, “Peace of Mind,” has been a staple for classic rock stations, and I’ve heard it often over the years.

I’m not sure why I never noticed the point of “Peace of Mind” prior to this particular morning walk. Despite my familiarity with the guitar riffs and even the chorus, for some reason I had never dialed into the meaning of the lyrics. As I enjoyed the sunshine and trees, though, the message came through clearly. And it grabbed me! I found myself completely agreeing with lead singer Brad Delp as he sang with conviction:

Now you’re climbin’ to the top of the company ladder

Hope it doesn’t take too long

Can’tcha see there’ll come a day when it won’t matter

Come a day when you’ll be gone

~

I understand about indecision

But I don’t care if I get behind

People livin’ in competition

All I want is to have my peace of mind.

Take a look ahead, take a look ahead. Look ahead.

Walking along that rural highway with my iPod cranked up, it suddenly seemed as though Solomon had packaged one of his proverbial sayings or a line from his ancient writings in Ecclesiastes to some good electric guitar and driving drums. There were timeless themes that are as relevant today as they were back in the 70s. Notions of success, competition, climbing the corporate ladder, striving to get ahead…that’s what Delp was singing about. And I realized there was – and is – an application for my life from this song.

Chasing after temporal values, wrestling with decisions about where we invest our time and energies, overlooking internal peace as we go for the gold…these are ultimately empty and meaningless pursuits.

When we look at what really matters, considering matters with a more eternal perspective, it becomes clear that a lot of what we value is temporal in nature. Unfortunately, as well, is that much of what we ignore or at least treat with less enthusiasm and respect is really quite important. I’m not saying that there is anything wrong in working hard and doing well, but misplaced priorities can sidetrack us from the really meaningful aspects of life.

So, I need to stop and take a look ahead. Look down the road and consider what I believe is important. Will it last?

Will my efforts last into eternity?

In some ways, the work I do at Focus will last. It has an eternal message, and many lives around the world have been touched by our radio efforts. This is a great job, and I am deeply grateful for it. However, as I told Dena last night, “I’m not irreplaceable.”

In the ten years I’ve been co-host of the Focus on the Family radio program, I’ve only missed being on a handful of broadcasts. But in my absence…”the show must go on” – and it does. Whether I am here or not, our team produces great programming, and if someone needs to handle my duties while I am away, they get that taken care of. I’m replaceable at work.

But, as I tell folks with some frequency, despite the joys and fulfillment I find here at Focus, my REAL job is right at home as a husband and father. In these roles I am irreplaceable. I’m the guy. There isn’t a substitute. The responsibility to love my wife and kids is solely mine. It isn’t something someone else can step in and do until I get back.

How about you? You work hard, and you might have a great job. But its temporal compared to the eternal investment you are called to make in your family.

Are you taking a look ahead? Taking a “long view” of things, and making sure your priorities are right? It’s not too late…

Inspiring Adoption Advocates

John and Kelly Rosati have adopted four children through foster care. They’ve traveled an incredible road, full of challenges and joys. They don’t sugarcoat the difficulties, nor do they despair. They are inspiring advocates for orphan care, and you can listen to their story right here.

 

Finding Help

Here’s an encouraging comment recently received, about the “accidental” manner in which one person discovered the Focus on the Family radio programs.

“Last year I had a new stereo put into my car.  During the installation someone programmed one of the keys to a Christian talk radio station.  I never chose that station, but I didn’t reprogram it either.  Then about five months ago, I decided to try listening.  I was thrilled to discover the Focus on the Family broadcast.  Now I tune in every day on my way to work.  I appreciate how you support me as a wife and mother.”

Maybe you can introduce someone to our broadcasts?

Help For Blended Families

Blended families present husbands, wives, moms, dads, and children – regardless of age – special opportunities and difficulties. A lot of angst, emotion…and special graces can be seen in the “mashing together” of individuals into a family.  At the Focus Marriage Forum, the most active conversation centers around blended families, kids and priorities.

Today’s Focus radio program addresses blended families. Our guests, Danny and Rayna Ortlie, speak openly about the joys – and challenges – of their rather unique situation. By the way, Danny’s book, Mommy Paints The Sky, is a tender account of his the marriage to and loss of his first wife, and how God graciously brought Rayna into his life.

Struggling with tough issues in your family? You’ll find a helpful list of trusted resources here. If you’d prefer to talk with someone, Focus on the Family Help Center counselors are here to listen and pray with you. You can arrange to speak with a licensed Christian counselor at no cost by calling 1-855-771-HELP (4357) Monday through Friday between 6:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. Mountain time. Last year this compassionate team helped 66,000 individuals – so be aware that you’ll probably need to leave your name and number for a counselor to return your call.

Parents: Show Up

I had to read the letter published in the paper a second time. Had I gotten that right?

Really?

“Dear Abby: I am a 12 year-old girl who is dating a senior boy in high school. One night, we went to a party and then back to his place. His parents and sister were out of town, and he was really drunk. As soon as we got to his house, he started drinking again. That led to a big fight. I was literally walking out the door when he grabbed me and told me if I ever leave him, he’ll hunt me down and kill me!” Scared in NC

I have a 12 year-old daughter. I cannot fathom allowing her to be dating, let alone handing her off to some 17 or 18 year-old guy. I hoped Abby’s reply would reflect a bit of my anger…and it did just that.

“Dear Scared, Tell your parents or guardian about the young man’s threat. You are too young to deal with this yourself and to be dating a boy that much older than you. He clearly has problems and not enough supervision – and the same is true of you.”

That’s a disturbing letter, and while it was in the newspaper back a few years ago, it reflects a trend in parenting that I find appalling. Maybe we should call it “not showing up” parenting.

What in the world are that poor girl’s parents thinking? Why in the world would they let her “date” a guy five or six years older than her? Why is she even dating at age 12? What’s going on?

We live in a world in which parents are disengaged and hands-off. We live in a world in which kids have more freedoms – and face more dangerous influences – than ever before. We live in a world in which cultural pressures abound, influencing our parenting decisions and necessarily influencing the kinds of adults our children will become.

My friend, Janet Parshall, speaking to a crowd of concerned parents, said that their clear responsibility – a mandate from God – is to train their children. In essence, she said:

If you don’t work to pass along your values to your children, the culture will!

There’s a lot of truth in Janet’s clarion call to latch onto and own the responsibility to raise our kids with intentionality. As parents we MUST be active – relentless, really – in the spiritual training of our children.

We are responsible to pass along a passion for God to our children, and we are to be intentional about that process, as Deuteronomy 6: 6-7 clearly indicates:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Impress.

Talk.

Walk.

Lie down, get up.

Note that there are a lot of verbs in these two verses.

This is action-oriented stuff. This isn’t an optional, work-it-into-your-busy-schedule-if-you-can suggestion. This isn’t a call to be a passive parent. Instead, it is a charge to have an on going, continual, interaction with your child about your God.

What are you doing – today – to ensure that your kids are going to have a constant exposure to your faith, and to learn about God? What’s one thing you can do this very day to make sure that your values are being communicated to – and grabbed onto by – your child?

As a parent, are you going to show up today?

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