Help and Hope For Adoptive Families

I’ve shared before about our youngest child, adopted from Russia when he was just nine months old. We’re approaching the seventh anniversary of his “gotcha date,” and we’re so glad Zane is part of our family. The journey hasn’t exactly been easy, however. Most adoptive families struggle with something…from emotional complexities to learning difficulties to physical challenges. We seem to be dealing with every one of those concerns. Fortunately, we have found many helpful resources and experts along the way.

At a banquet a few months ago for a ministry that helps orphans, I sat near a dynamic woman with a huge heart for orphans and adopted children. She is enthusiastic, energetic, and insightful! And she’s our guest on this Focus on the Family radio program. Debi Grebenik offers encouragement and guidance that every adoptive parent should hear. Debi will help you better empathize with the unique difficulties your child is experiencing, allowing him or her – and your entire family – to thrive.

There’s also a book about adoption worth noting. Several friends contributed chapters to Handbook on Thriving As an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges. It is an excellent read, with multiple aspects of adoption addressed with firsthand insight.

Related, if you have a heart for orphans and adopted kids, there’s a terrific event you need to know about sponsored by my friends at Christian Alliance For Orphans. This annual conference has become a national hub for Christians committed to adoption, foster care and global orphan initiatives rooted in the local church. This year it is May 12-13 at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY. With more than 75 workshops & unforgettable speakers and music, you’ll find passionate, caring folks and lots of great advice. I highly recommend Summit!

Valentine’s Day – On a Budget?

My dilemma: my dear wife is frugal, and just announced we need to cut the spending budget. My question: On February 14, how should I react? Don’t want to surprise her with a really expensive expression of my love. Still, I don’t want to miss the opportunity to let her know I love her. Here’s some of the response from my question, posed on Twitter, about what I should do regarding Valentine’s Day.

Me:

“Unclear about Valentines Day – wife wants to cut the budget. Is now a good time to heed her frugality?”

Friends:

Thanks to my Twitter friends, I’m inspired to do something…now, just what? Hmmm…somehow I seem to be “skating on thin ice.” Help?

Pushing Kids

Pushing kids too fast. Who is guilty of that? It seems many parents are doing just that, and one trend reflecting that is the news that a major retailer is introducing a line of makeup for grade school girls.

A Wall Street Journal blogger reported the following quote from a major “beauty products” marketing director:

“Girls start cosmetics usage really as young as six years old in categories like clear lip gloss and nail…Then at a certain age, and that’s becoming younger and younger, she begins to want to enter real cosmetics as an enhancement.”

In the same piece, about her 2nd grade daughter wearing make-up, one mom observed that

“If she doesn’t play with it at home and learn to do it, when she turns 12 or 14 or whenever I let her wear it, she’s going to overdo it…I try to downplay it being that she’s eight.”

I’m aware of “pretend” makeup. Our girls had some when they were younger, usually getting it out when a friend was over or they were playing “dress up.” But we’ve been reluctant to let them wear much makeup until they were in middle school, at the earliest. I think they have a lifetime ahead of them to use the stuff, and I’m certainly not going to press them toward using makeup too soon.

When in doubt, wait. At least that’s what I think.

Last fall we aired a broadcast with Dannah Gresh and Ron Luce that addressed some of the issues about this matter. They know kids, and the pressures affecting them. You should give it a listen.

Spiritual Aspects of Eating

In this broadcast Lysa TerKeurst continues to offer insights from her book, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food. Here’s a video clip from our in-studio conversation.

Choosing Childhood Memories

As featured on the Focus on the Family radio broadcast, Lysa TerKeurst offers a personal – and practical – look at the “why” behind our eating patterns. Focusing on God as our provider and healer, she suggests there is a spiritual element to our physical decisions and behaviors.

In the following video clip, Lysa recalls a happy moment with her father. Despite years of difficulties with her dad, it is a tender childhood memory of her father’s effort to show his love.

If you’re struggling with unhealthy choices that reflect unhealed wounds from the past, call our family help-line at 800-A-Family. Ask for a counselor, and we’ll have someone call you back a convenient time. They’ll walk you through some initial steps, and then make suggestions about resources and someone in your area you can talk with further.

Top Five…Books (updated)

I’m fortunate to love reading and to interact with a lot of authors. Of the many books I’ve read during the past year, here’s a short list of those that I found to be particularly meaningful, inspiring, challenging or otherwise significant.

  1. Dancing With Max, by Chuck and Emily Colson. As the parent of a special needs child – particularly a boy with autism – I was moved to tears and greatly encouraged by this account of a very special young man named Max.
  2. Radical, David Platt. A long, slow and reflective read of this book will challenge you to reconsider your faith and how you live your life.
  3. Choosing To See, Mary Beth Chapman. A tender story of joy, deep pain and restoration of hope.
  4. Stronger, by Jim Daly. If you struggle in life, don’t be surprised – God is likely going to do a significant work, if you’ll choose to see and embrace His sovereignty and grace.
  5. (updated) Shattered, the autobiography of pitcher/theologian/radio host Frank Pastore. Great story of redemption and transformation.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that the most influential, provoking, inspirational book I’ve read this past year is (still) The Holy Bible. I’ve spent much of the past year in the Old Testament, and continue to be amazed at the richness and depth of the prophets’ faith. What amazing men of God, and what lessons they have for me.

    I hope to have more time to read in the coming year than the past twelve months have afforded me.

    Protect Your Marriage

    Our current international radio programming reflects a great conversation we enjoyed with Jerry Jenkins, author of a tremendous resource, “Hedges, Loving Your Marriage Enough To Protect It.”

    There’s great wisdom in being proactive about protecting yourself and your spouse. Jerry has an entire book with suggestions on how to do that. Here are a couple of ideas I employ to make sure I stay on track:

    Here’s a previous post about that book and concept, and the programs with Jerry Jenkins. I suggest you listen – with your spouse – and map out specific ways to keep the relationship strong and intact.

    A Marriage Changed

    We recently heard this affirming feedback to a Focus on the Family broadcast:

    “Thank you for your recent broadcast in which you and your guests discussed how to thrive in a difficult marriage.  I’ve been searching several years now for the wisdom and insights that were shared during this program, and I’m so grateful I finally found some answers!  Learning that I need to focus on my own issues and behaviors was something I desperately needed to hear.  This revelation has given me a great deal of hope and strength for the journey that lies ahead.”

    We’re encouraged that God is using our radio programming, and for this great comment.

    Thanks for listening – and for praying with us that lives will be touched by God through our efforts!

    Radio Touching Lives

    Encouragement to start your week: God can -and frequently does – use our efforts to touch others. Here’s a powerful example of how He recently took a radio program and used it to help a couple and their pastor:

    A pastor contacted Focus to thank us for a providentially timed broadcast.  A young married couple in his church had come to him for help with some emotional struggles in their relationship.  The minister felt ill-equipped to assist them, as much of their difficulty stemmed from health issues which were unfamiliar to him.  A few days later, he heard a Focus program that addressed those very concerns!  The pastor admitted that he “just cried and cried” when he heard the program.  He called to request two recordings of the broadcast – one for the couple and one for himself.

    When you pray for and give to Focus on the Family, you’re partnering with us touch the lives of men and women around the world. Thanks for being on “our team!”

    Who Do You Love More?

    The innocent six year-old looked at her daddy and asked, “Who do you love more, Mom or me?”

    He answered thoughtfully, “Honey, I love your Mommy more than you.” Ted went on to explain about the nature of a marital love, and how it is different than a parent’s love for a child. Still, there was a bit of “wow factor” associated with the comment.

    I thought, “Well, that’ll ruffle a few feathers, but I think he’s right.”

    And when we invited listeners to weigh in on their thoughts, we received an avalanche of response! Samples:

    Listen to the program here. Reactions?

    ← Previous Page — Next Page →