Time Changes Things

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”

The late Andy Warhol said that, but is it really true? I’ve found that time DOES change many things.

For instance, late last month the toll of time caught up with my father-in-law, who had battled serious physical declines for several years. Having lived a full life for many, many years, and nearing his 90th birthday, his body started to shut down just before Christmas.

Finally, on December 31st he passed away.

Time caught up with him, and in an instant everything changed.

Richard was a good man, a great husband and father, and loved by many for his many fine qualities. He was a man of faith, and of deeply held values. He lived out those core beliefs daily, showing decency, generosity, integrity, loyalty and love to everyone around him.  He was an example to many, and we miss him dearly.

The past several years, though, left him chiefly unable to interact with others. A series of medical challenges took away his strength, mobility, and his vitality. Contrary to Mr. Warhol’s observation about changing things ourselves, Richard was unable to change that physical brokenness. I’m quite certain that if he could have, he would have done so! He would have gone golfing, fishing and hunting again. he would have gone to church, for a visit with friends, for a bite out. He could not overcome his unwilling flesh. Time, however, changed what the man couldn’t.

On that Saturday morning, the last day of 2011, Richard’s body finally gave up and his spirit left “this old world” for an eternity with God. He experienced a release from the sorrow and pain, the burdens of this life. The truth of eternity became his reality in an instant. Time released Richard from the shackles of this life, and freed him to enjoy life in heaven forevermore.

As we start a new year, many of us seek to improve. We make resolutions. We endeavor to lose weight, curtail spending, get our priorities in line, be a better employees. We try to do what Warhol suggested: change things. I’m not against personal improvement. I’ve got some parts of my life I’d like to get better at. But what if we find time changes things for us?

Psalm 139:16 says that all of our days were ordained and written in God’s book before one of those days ever came to be. God knows what this day holds, and what external forces will do to me. He is working His plan for our lives each moment, even when we don’t see His hand. We live in a world made up of seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. And I believe that God is the giver of every moment of our lives. Ultimately, He sets the dates of our birth and our death. Albert Einstein said that

To know time as gift is to know that its basic rhythms and inevitable passing are beyond our control. And to know time as gift is to recognize time as the setting within which we also receive God’s other gifts, including the fruits of nature and the companionship of one another.

Perhaps in the coming year I’ll try a little less to make changes, and try a little more to see how time makes change happen. At the start of 2012, may time be a gift to you. May it change things you cannot. And may you see every day as one ordained long ago by God…a gift from His hand.

Top Five Books – I Didn’t Read – For 2011

In the spirit of the season, with everyone and his brother making “Top This” and “Top That” lists of new and notable items in the past twelve months, I humbly offer my own list. Here are the five books I didn’t read in 2011 – but wish I would have. Don’t misunderstand – I like books, have a lot of them, and seem to receive new ones almost daily from publishers and friends. I cannot read every book on my shelves, and at times feel guilty for having so many unread books. Still, there are many good books I intend to read…some day.

So, the following are the starting point for a “Top Books of 2012 – Which I Actually Read” list…which I’ll try to post in about twelve months.

  1. All is Grace, Brennan Manning  – Memoirs of a fascinating man who found God’s grace…everywhere. I am eager to get to know Manning better.
  2. Prayer, Philip Yancey – Started, just need to finish this fine book. Philip has been a favorite writer since I started reading his columns in Campus Life magazine during high school. That’s quite a long time!
  3. The New Testament – Various (human) authors. Chuck Swindoll has challenged believers to read through the New Testament this year. I think that’s a great idea – and plan to add in the Psalms and Proverbs, as well (see this reading plan). Why not join me?
  4. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy’s epic. If three of my kids have read it, why haven’t I?
  5. The Meaning Of Marriage, Tim Keller – We’ll be interviewing Tim and his wife Kathy for a Focus broadcast soon, and I am always glad for an opportunity to read this wise man’s perspective on life.

I’ll try to gather up the best books I’ve read this past year in a future post. Meantime, what books are on your “didn’t read – yet” list?

ADDENDUM: Just today Danny Heitman writes in the Wall Street Journal (subscribers only, sorry) about this very matter. I appreciated his perspective, which affords some comfort:

The truly cultured, (author Gabriel Zaid) says, “are capable of owning thousands of unread books without losing their composure or desire for more.”

Further, Heitman adds,

Unread books…can be noble evidence of aspirations not yet met but still worth embracing.

Somehow, such thinking gives me permission to go through those stacks of books which I have not yet cracked open, or which was started but never finished, on bookshelves both at home and at work, and dare to pick one up…and read.

Here’s to a growing collection of unread books, and to a year ahead of great reading!

Penn State and Doing The Right Thing

Despite knowing Jim Daly for 20 years, I had never heard about the encounter, which happened when he was only 10 years old. And when Jim shared that short personal story on today’s Focus on the Family radio program, I was rather shocked. It revealed yet another reason why he is such a passionate advocate for children.

Tune in on your local radio station, or listen here, and you’ll also hear some unique perspectives about the Penn State situation from our guests Bob and Dannah Gresh. They live in State College, PA and also have a son who is a student at Penn State.  They’ll tell about the reaction of the local community, and offer insights about the need for every one of us to stand up and do the right thing when we see — or even when we suspect — evil-doing.

Finally, Focus on the Family offers counseling and resources for those who were a victim of childhood sexual abuse. You’ll find those, along with blog entries from Jim, Dannah and others about Penn State, right here and also here.

 

Inspiring Adoption Advocates

John and Kelly Rosati have adopted four children through foster care. They’ve traveled an incredible road, full of challenges and joys. They don’t sugarcoat the difficulties, nor do they despair. They are inspiring advocates for orphan care, and you can listen to their story right here.

 

Fatherhood Lost

The program earlier this week about how men are affected by abortion touched many listeners. Here’s the summary from one of our phone reps of a particularly poignant comment:

An anonymous caller shared that she was touched greatly by the broadcast “Fatherhood Lost.” She always had a hardened heart against women who had had an abortion because she has struggled with trying to conceive unsuccessfully. Now she sees it from another view. With tears streaming, her heart has now been softened by what these women go through as a result of their mistake.

Another caller said that

he has been affected by abortion several times throughout his life, and appreciates (the broadcast).

Listen here.

Truett Cathy

As we approach Father’s Day, I wanted to spotlight a man who works hard to build boys. (And in honor of the upcoming holiday, click here for more details about my Father’s Day contest!)

Truett Cathy is probably best known for his Chick-fil-A restaurants, and while I really like the food he helped make popular, I’m most appreciative of the work he does to help boys who face the prospect of growing up without a father.

Mr. Cathy has been mentoring youngsters for more than sixty years. He runs a camp and foster-care program designed to help give children of broken homes a second chance at life. It’s an inspiring effort! Boys are matched with mentors and father figures, and some are even placed in full-time Christian foster homes.

Many are given the opportunity to work side by side with Mr. Cathy on a beautiful farm in the rolling hills of Rome, Georgia. (Here’s a link to his WinShape Homes)

Truett Cathy is more than a nice guy with business savvy. He knows how boys think. Most important, he knows what they need: a father, or—at the very least—a strong male role model.

Mr. Cathy travels the country with a simple but strong message: You can make a difference! It’s better to build boys than to have to mend men.

If you’re a man just embarking on the fatherhood journey, I hope you’ll recognize the tremendous responsibility – and privilege – ahead. You’re preparing to build your son or daughter, a monumental task given today’s prevailing forces. But you CAN make a huge difference in that child’s life.

As we approach Father’s Day, grab onto the role God has entrusted you with, and give it your best. You work hard for your paycheck. You strive to win on the soccer field. You are a perfectionist when it comes to detailing your car. The child you have is far more important than any of those (temporal) things…and deserves everything you’ve got.

By the way, even if you don’t have children, or yours are grown and gone, consider being a mentor to a boy. I have some co-workers who are involved in Big Brothers, and they love it. Friends like Joe White are all about speaking into the lives of young men and calling them to a deeper faith (read about CrossBow here).

The bottom line: the next generation wants, yearns for, and needs us. We’d do well to follow Truett Cathy’s wonderful dedication to build into the lives of boys – and girls.

Running The (Special Needs) Race

In God’s wisdom He thought it would be good for me to run a couple of marathons. That’s all I can conclude. Let me explain by way of a personal illustration.

Almost 15 years ago I took on a challenge of immense proportions: to run a marathon. Coaxed on by a friend, I finally decided that I could do it, I could learn to run more than 26 miles in a stretch! After a rigorous training schedule, I put my feet to the test, and ran the Steamboat Springs Marathon.

I was absolutely exhausted by the end. In fact, a co-worker who was there – and finished well before me – snapped a photograph of me as I crossed the finish line. About that picture, someone observed about, “You don’t look so good.”

Of course I didn’t look so good – I had just spent more than three and a half hours running my legs off!

The next year I ran the Chicago Marathon. Once again, it wasn’t a pretty ending. Dragging myself across the finish line, I declined the offer for food and drink, preferring instead to lay down on a stack of discarded boxes. A race worker approached me and with good intentions asked if I was okay?

“I’m alright,” I wheezed as I closed my eyes and caught my breath.

Those were good days, although hard. I’m grateful for my friend’s urging. Not many people get to run distance races. I’m also glad for my wife’s patience as I trained, because sometimes I went out for a three-hour run on Saturday mornings. She would have preferred I stayed home!

Today my knees creak and squeak, and I’ve given up running for exercise that is easier on the joints. Still, I’ve reflected often on lessons  learned as I trained and ran.

Among those lessons was this little nugget: A steady pace can help me finish even a long distance run. It is all about pacing.  Start off too fast, and you’re likely to burn out halfway through, or even before.

That’s a principle I need to keep in mind as we parent a child with special needs. Pace. Keep the end in mind. Persevere through the pain and press on toward the end.

I’ve needed that principle for the past six years now, since we first learned our youngest son has autism. Our first reaction was numbness, then we sprung into action. The pace since then has been rather relentless. The many on-going therapies, medical visits, special trips to bring home a troubled child, social outbursts, strains on our other children, expenditures, insurance calls, piles of paperwork, explanations (apologies, really) to other parents…have left us tired. In fact, to this point the race has drained us, particularly emotionally, although we have not given up.

Along this journey we’ve seen God’s remarkable, sustaining presence and power. He has touched our boy in some significant ways, and there has been tremendous progress on all fronts.

In this “race” God has used Zane to pull us to Himself, to show us His grace, to say things I would not have otherwise heard.

And so we’ll continue on in this parenting journey, step by step, mile after mile. We’ll keep at it with our eyes on the finish line, endeavoring to help our son grow and gain the tools he needs to thrive.

So: pace. We’ll do our best to maintain a steady pace as we run, so we can go the distance. A steady pace that keeps the legs moving, keeps the face forward, keeps the goal in mind.

It hasn’t been easy, this “special needs race.”  It has taken everything we’ve got. We’ve gone further down this path than we could have ever envisioned. We’ve been stretched beyond anything we thought possible. And through it all, God has been close. He’s been the One we’ve leaned upon, and Who has provided the needed grace.

I suspect one day we’ll push past the finish line and collapse in a heap, exhausted totally out of breath. And it’ll be worth every bit of the effort, focus, discipline, sweat and even the pain.

I also suspect Zane would agree.

Run Well

The recent deaths of four U.S. citizens at the hands of Somali pirates were a mere blip in the news scene. Things in the Mid East, notably the uprising in Libya, have eclipsed coverage of a hijacking at sea and the murder of four. Even in the limited reports I’ve seen, there’s something that has only been rather overlooked: the deeper reason that one of the couples sailed the seas.

Scott Adam had lived a successful life in Hollywood, and in recent years discovered a passion for the Scripture. He and his wife Jean decided a few years ago to take God’s Word to the unreached, sailing to foreign lands to hand out the Scriptures. They sold their homes and spent six months a year on their yacht, which was loaded with Bibles.

Jean Adam explained,

“Anytime we have workers on the boat or come into the dock and have an opportunity to talk to people we find more homes for our Bibles.”

Living with a greater purpose, the Adams were surely fulfilled and grateful for all God did through them. But their good works were no guarantee of a happy life, and their deaths were violent and untimely. Their yacht was hijacked last week by 19 pirates off the coast of Somalia, and also taken captive were Phyllis Macay and Bob Riggle. On Tuesday the pirates killed their hostages, despite negotiations for their release, and then engaged in a skirmish with U.S. forces.

I’d assume that Scott and Jean Adams lived out their faith to the end, witnessing through word and deed to their captors. They probably tried to share the Scriptures with the men who ultimately took their lives. And perhaps in their very deaths the Adams spoke loudest. We’ll never know, but it seems likely that this couple was faithful to the end.

There will be second-guessing about the wisdom of sailing through pirate-inhabited waters. Some will say that the Adams should have known better. Others will suggest that their faith shouldn’t have put them in harm’s way. Many will wrestle with deeper matters…things for which we don’t have answers. We’ll never know just why God allowed this kind of fate for people who were devoted to telling others about Him and His Word. There are no easy answers we can offer their family and friends. There are no platitudes to make the pain of their violent deaths lessened.

At times like this I take comfort in the promises of God’s Word. He assures us that He is sovereign, and that we have nothing to fear. “Oh death, where is your sting?” “Perfect love casts out all fear.” “All things work together for good for those who are called according to His purposes.” The Scripture is filled with reminders that this life is temporary, we are aliens in this world, we are destined for life everlasting with our God – all this despite, or even because of, earthly difficulties and struggles.

For those who know Christ there’s hope in an eternity with Him and many rich rewards for what we did in His name. These dear folks have been taken, but gloriously to heaven and their Savior. They fought the good fight. They lived well, and with passion. They didn’t coast into the King’s presence…they ran.

I guess that’s the lesson I want to take away from this couple.

Lord, let me run well today.

Top Five…Books (updated)

I’m fortunate to love reading and to interact with a lot of authors. Of the many books I’ve read during the past year, here’s a short list of those that I found to be particularly meaningful, inspiring, challenging or otherwise significant.

  1. Dancing With Max, by Chuck and Emily Colson. As the parent of a special needs child – particularly a boy with autism – I was moved to tears and greatly encouraged by this account of a very special young man named Max.
  2. Radical, David Platt. A long, slow and reflective read of this book will challenge you to reconsider your faith and how you live your life.
  3. Choosing To See, Mary Beth Chapman. A tender story of joy, deep pain and restoration of hope.
  4. Stronger, by Jim Daly. If you struggle in life, don’t be surprised – God is likely going to do a significant work, if you’ll choose to see and embrace His sovereignty and grace.
  5. (updated) Shattered, the autobiography of pitcher/theologian/radio host Frank Pastore. Great story of redemption and transformation.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t add that the most influential, provoking, inspirational book I’ve read this past year is (still) The Holy Bible. I’ve spent much of the past year in the Old Testament, and continue to be amazed at the richness and depth of the prophets’ faith. What amazing men of God, and what lessons they have for me.

    I hope to have more time to read in the coming year than the past twelve months have afforded me.

    Savor

    Savor the moment. That’s what I thought as I smiled at the precious toddler on the airplane. She was full of life, smiling and making eye contact with anyone who looked interesting.

    I watched a man play peek-a-boo with her from a few rows back. He seemed to really enjoy that interaction.

    One gentleman smiling at her – and I knew he had a little one of his own back home. He had that “Daddy-loves-you” grin.

    Another man, evidently with the military and carrying a loaded backpack, looked approvingly at her as she sprawled across a couple of seats and bounced up and down.

    As we exited the plane, I passed by this darling girl and her mom, and thought of my own wife and children. And I realized that a little homesickness isn’t a bad thing at all. The opportunity to watch this little one rejoice in her young life made me think back to the days when our kids were small, energetic and so easily entertained. When they had  innocence, when they were in an ‘explore the world” mode and everything seemed so new and exciting.

    Revel in the simplest gifts, like a smiling child. Let such a sacred moment have your attention. Savor the moment. It’ll all-too-soon be gone.

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