Help In An Unplanned Pregnancy

Here’s a touching comment we received from someone who needed Focus on the Family to help:
“I can’t thank you enough for coming alongside our family at a time when we desperately needed some help.  After learning of our teenage daughter’s unexpected pregnancy, we contacted your ministry, and you, in turn, pointed us to a Christian adoption agency in our state.  As difficult as it was to give up our first grandchild, we’re comforted to know that he’s now growing up in a healthy, godly environment.  We’re profoundly grateful for the impact you’ve had on our family, not only in this instance, but also in a few other difficult situations that have occurred during the past several years.  Thank you for your guidance, support, and encouragement.”
Click here, here, or here if you need some encouragement and hope in an unplanned pregnancy. The links take you to some online resources, including a tool to help schedule a toll-free call with a caring Christian counselor.

Seven Years Ago

I’ve been reflecting today on our youngest son’s birth. He turned seven today, and while he is happily playing with his new Legos and Buzz Lightyear gear, I’m struck by how normal Zane is in so many ways. He loves to play, roughhouse, read books, swim, run around at the park, and eating fruit. He blends into a crowd of kids pretty well. He is pretty strong. He talks a lot about Star Wars (Legos) and can beat me in boxing on the Wii. Zane’s life is pretty routine by most accounts.

Dena and Zane at the orphanage

Dena and Zane at the orphanage

His start in life wasn’t easy, nor usual. Born at 26 weeks, weighing just over two pounds, he spent his first days in neonatal intensive care. Somehow his tiny body pushed through that challenge, and he went on to an orphanage in eastern Russia. We met him when he was eight months, and brought him into our family shortly after that.

We’ve been blessed to have Zane in our lives! The Lord has brought him so very far, and there’s promise and spark in his life that is clear evidence of God’s grace and mercy.

God has also used that boy to teach us much about Himself, and about ourselves. And while I don’t know much about the circumstances surrounding his birth seven years ago, or his first seven months of life, I’m really glad I’ve been part of the past six years, three months.

Hearts For Orphans

My friend Paul Pennington blogged today about the need for good people to do good deeds…specifically with regard to the 140 million fatherless children of the world. What happens when 1,000 committed individuals and organizations gather together to address the needs of orphans? Read the post for some inspiration – and suggestions.
And if you’d like to know more about Focus on the Family’s orphan care efforts, stop by this site.

Parenting Autism

I have an autistic son. Although Zane continues to progress very well, his autism remains a significant part of his life. He has plenty of what I refer to as “autistic moments,” times when he gets stuck on some detail of life and seems to be unable to pull away from it, times when he asks questions – really strange questions – that remind me his brain doesn’t process information like mine does, times when he gets unusually frustrated about something that most kids would not think twice about. And while he is only six, I do sometimes wonder what life will be like for him when he is an adult. I pray he will live a fulfilling, independent life – and that he will know God.We just don’t know, however, what the coming years have for Zane.

The other day I saw this post in the New York Times, and as I read it I was really touched. It seems to capture, both candidly and rather beautifully, what parenting an adult with autism is like. My heart goes out to Laura Shumaker, the author, and to every parent of an adult special needs child. Such a calling is difficult and at times exhausting…and also an assignment from God to help us know His heart better.

RAD And Adoption

I think this is an insightful, balanced and very good article about the realities of RAD – Reactive Attachment Disorder, which likely was a factor in the story of the adopted Russian boy who was returned to that country. For those parents who struggle with RAD, there is often a lot of guilt, condemnation and misunderstanding…and little empathy (see some of the comments).

And if you’re interested in more info, here’s a great series of articles about adopted children, including handling difficult situations.

Adopted Child Rejected By Mom

News of an adopted a boy from Russia – who was sent him back to Russia, by himself – really grabbed my heart. Here’s one account, and an excerpt:

The 7-year-old boy, Artyom Savelyev, who was called Justin Hansen by the Tennessee family, was put on a plane with a note saying his adoptive mother no longer wanted to parent him because he was violent and had severe psychological problems.

While the details are still becoming known, as an adoptive father – our youngest child is from Russia, and his given name was also Artyom – I am deeply saddened by the situation. This is a terribly tragic story on several accounts. The boy’s verbally violent threats reveal a child with some serious issues, perhaps related to fetal alcohol syndrome, which is very common in Russian infants, or attachment issues, or maybe even reflective of something on the autism spectrum. I’m very sorry to see that the parents’ were unable to control him, or to get some help – counseling, medical intervention, or more. And what about the airline which accepted the child as a passenger? And the agency which facilitated the adoption and would have been following up with the family? Who is (most) at fault here?

It would be easy to jump to conclusions and assign blame, but for now I’ll be praying for little 7 year-old Artyom, asking God to give him a family and to comfort him in this time of trouble. And I’m also praying that the door will stay open for other families to adopt from Russia. It’ll be a shame if this isolated incident adversely affects those adoptions that are already in process, or shuts down altogether the adoption opportunities for other families and children.

Pray For Ezekiel

Here’s a little boy I’d like you to pray for. His name is Ezekiel, and we met him at the Casa Luz orphanage during our Christmas-time family trip to Peru. Ezekiel was engaging and joyful, and our youngest daughter (she’s 11) especially enjoyed interacting with him.

Without going into too much detail, we have a spot in our hearts for Ezekiel. In response to God’s promptings, we’re praying, asking God to touch his life in a special way. And we’re also asking God how we might be used to accomplish His purposes for this little guy.

Could I ask you to take just a minute and ask God to touch Ezekiel and do some special things in the life of this special, fatherless child? Maybe God would have something for you in this, too.

Good Friday Reflections

You’re a busy person. You have lots on your plate. And you are moving in the fast lane, so fast that you’re speeding toward Easter. You’re looking forward to celebrating the resurrection.

You need to stop. In this world, we want to avoid suffering. We skim through the news and utter short “Lord, keep me safe” prayers. Even during this very spiritual season, we don’t take the time to stop, really consider the Cross, and thank our Lord for His supreme sacrifice.

So we – you and I – probably need to slow down, and ponder, reflect, meditate upon the One who suffered for us. For me.

Here’s a powerful recollection, by a truly gifted communicator, about the reason for Christ’s suffering.

And if you yourself are suffering through the loss of someone close, or an unexpected trial at work, or maybe a relational conflict that is consuming all your time and energy…listen in. You’ll hear some compelling thoughts about how God redeems suffering.

Barna Study About Super Bowl Ad

Some pretty interesting research from the Barna Group about the Focus on the Family ad, featuring Pam and Tim Tebow, which ran during the Super Bowl, including the following data points:

Read the entire article and thoughtful analysis here.

I was glad to learn that Phil Cooke posted about the ad in his blog. I appreciated his insights and support for Focus in this endeavor.

And, in case you’d like to see some of the “hype” which helped make some 2.5 Billion (that’s with a B for Billion) consumer “impressions,” here’s a sampling of the media coverage generated by the spot, before and after the big game (not all of it entirely favorable):

Rebecca St. James Supports Super Bowl Ad

Rebecca St. James released a statement about the Focus on the Family Super Bowl ad, and it is encouraging to see her words of support:

“I think in spite of the protests this week from NOW, GloriaAllred, and ‘pro-choice’ organizations, this ad being aired is a matter of the First Amendments’ right of free speech.  I applaud Focus on the Family for creating the ad and bringing the story of Tim Tebow’s life to American viewers during the Super Bowl, and I applaud CBS for broadcasting it.  Here is the heart warming story of a young man whose mother-when faced with the option of abortion-chose ‘life’ and he is here to thank her, be a rising sports hero, and use that life to be a blessing to many! Unlike Tim Tebow–the more than 1 million babies that are aborted each year in the US have no voices-and no opportunity to tell us what they think of their mothers ultimate ‘choice’ for their lives.”

Thanks, Rebecca, for your on-going pro-life stance, and for your public support of this ad!

BTW, Rebecca St. James will be in New York next week—Tuesday, February 9th—to appear on “Hannity” on the Fox News Channel. She’ll no doubt be talking about her recent film, in which she plays the lead character, called, “Sarah’s Choice.” The film is a powerful exploration of the sanctity of life.

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