Video: Parenting First Borns
We featured Dr. Kevin Leman on a recent webcast, as noted previously. Here’s the link to the video, if you’d like to watch.
I’d be interested to know what you think, so give a look and leave a comment below? Thanks!
Considering College?
This morning I awoke to the realization that our second son is going to be considering college soon. We’ve done the process only once before, but it takes quite a bit of work to determine which school will be the best fit.
The folks at Boundless have two “Top 10″ lists that college-bound students - and their parents - should know about. Helpful!
Practicing Silence, I
As a parent of six children, I experience quite a bit of conversation in my home. The talking, yelling, arguing, and (this is the good part) laughter seem unending. There are times when I wonder what quiet is really like, or if I will ever experience silence in the house before 11:30 p.m. There is simply little time of quiet in the home, but that is to be expected with a larger family.
I am grateful for our children and their desire to share about their lives with me. When I walk in through the front door, I’m glad they want to fill me on their day, on the news of the home, of whatever they are feeling. That is a rewarding exchange, and in listening I learn a lot about my kids. I also show them love when I truly listen.
Professionally, I am in the business of communication. I often joke that I get paid to talk for a living – and there is some truth to that! It is a wonderful thing, and I enjoy what I do. There is a danger in this line of work, though, and that is in talking too much.
At times I feel compelled to fill every empty moment in a conversation with talk, because, after all, I fancy myself a good talker! The problem is that too much of a good thing is bad. And in speaking too freely or frequently, I am in danger of making my own thoughts and ideas somehow become less meaningful.
Personally, I struggle at times with being fast and loose with my words. I tend to speak first and then think about what to say. This happens at work and in discussions with friends. Most frequently, though, I do this at home. I’ve got to change that habit!
This concept of using words well – and speaking less - is something I want my children to learn. Too often I fail at modeling this more “thoughtful” approach to conversation for them. More often than I care to admit here, I find myself apologizing to them - and to my dear wife - for saying things I shouldn’t have, or for using an improper tone as I speak, or for not listening better.
Parenting is hard, and this is probably one of the more difficult aspects of raising kids that I’ve dealt with. May the Lord help me “hold my tongue” with my family this week. More on this in a day or two.
Friday Five: Taking The Financial Hit
While the U. S. banking bailout is not affecting our family directly, we have noticed resources don’t go as far as they used to. While there’s nothing startling new here, I offer a list of five ways we’re adjusting to the high prices and financial uncertainty of the times:
- Clothesline: Hang wet clothes instead of using the dryer. My kids don’t like this one - too much work. Oh well.
- Reduce unnecessary food expenses: Our grocery bill was already high, and rose dramatically over the summer. We’re cutting everything from parmasean cheese to desserts. Draconian!
- Drive a smaller car: With five kids still at home, we need larger vehicles to get the crew around from Point A to Point B. However, a few months ago we bought a little - little! - car which gives very god mileage on those occasions we don’t have everyone piled into a Suburban. Suburbans aren’t known for their fuel efficiency…
- Carpooling: We cooperate with friends and neighbors whenever possible for school and church-related activities. Sometimes that means we drive the Suburban, though. Puteight or nine people in there and you’ll get pretty good miles-per-passenger!
- Eliminating the annual Christmas letter. We’ve got a lot of folks on our mailing list, and can certainly take a break from that annual expensive mailing. Oh, wait - we haven’t sent a Christmas letter in three years. Never mind!
And you? Tell us your money-saving tips.
Kirk Cameron: When Hope Seemed Lost
At the pinnacle of his television success, Kirk Cameron went through a time of soul-searching. In this exclusive audio clip he tells of a change that brought him hope. Maybe you know someone who should hear this?
A Child’s Prayer Gives Perspective
From a journal entry a while back, something other dads might relate to in some way…
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It is now nearly 10 p.m. The day has been full, and the evening activities have been non-stop. Musings on a busy day…
I was tired from the wildness of my day at the office. So, as I retired to my castle, ready for some respite and quiet, I probably had some unreasonable expectations. It is foolish to expect any semblance of quiet when I come home to this beloved bunch. Can they possibly be any more expressive and dramatic - and loud?
Sensing chaos and desiring order, I pull on the gloves and start to be the heavyweight champion of the dad-world. My wife is tired, and so am I, but I am up to the challenge! I will bring these kids into compliance, I will help them behave like little adults. I will prove the victor in getting some control of our – my – house and our – my – children.
Oh foolishness, indeed! I do not succeed in helping the kids calm down. No, I instead lose control and become an Ogre (hear me roar), I’m Mr. Bad-Guy. I morph into Mr. “Don’t Break The Rules Or Else” man. And in the process I yell, I lose it, I say stupid things. Drat!
So now my wife is in bed, the children are drifting off and here am I thinking about what went wrong. The kids and I did “make up,” for which I am glad. That happened as we prayed. Those times together of petitioning God often serve as reminders that I love them, and that God is in control - even when Daddy isn’t.
Prayer is how I will survive and succeed as a parent. And one of my daughters had treasure of a prayer tonight. She was priceless in asking God to touch some sick relatives, to bring glory to Himself in the midst of the recent tragedies of the world, to help us know Him better. Beautiful prayer. A reminder, perhaps, that we are making some progress, even when external behaviors don’t necessarily look encouraging?
As I think through the eve, I believe I can do better. I must bring my expectations and my words and attitudes into line with what God has for me. I can set a better tone. Not on my own., however!
Lord help me? And thanks, God, for that child’s wonderful prayer tonight. Hear her heart cries for others, I pray. Amen.
When You’ve Found Life
Dr. Dobson has often made it clear that Focus on the Family isn’t just about good family advice. In fact, our main purpose is to introduce people to the God who made families and who wants you to know Him.
If our broadcasts have been instrumental in introducing you to Jesus Christ, we’d love to know about it! Tell us your story by posting a comment below.
And, if you have spiritual questions, here’s an article to explain more about finding life.
Facebook Is Like A Tatoo
Facebook is huge, with over 100 million users. If you have teens in your home, like me, you’ll want to monitor carefully your child’s participation in such social networking sites. Also, tell him or her about unintended consequences of using such sites - like a tatoo, Facebook comments and antics are rather permanent - and apparent to others - as seen in this article.
Friday Webcast With Dr. Kevin Leman
Be sure to stop by Friday for a special webcast with parenting expert, Dr. Kevin Leman. Details here.
While you’re at it, listen in for a two-day conversation with Dr. Leman about the many advantages firstborns have in life. Really! Whether you are a first-born or have one, this is helpful insight from one of the foremost experts on birth order.
Watching Ike’s Move Toward Houston, and Praying
Last May we went to Jamaica Beach on Galveston Island in Texas for a family get-together. Our beach-front rental house may not survive Hurricane Ike, if predictions are anywhere near accurate. We have friends and family in the greater Houston area, and are praying for their safety, as well as for the safety of those who could not - or would not - evacuate. Following the storm on several sites like this one.
