Observations From An Airport
Watched a couple getting off the connecting flight in Dallas. The puddle-jumper, which the airline more respectably calls a “regional jet,” could not accommodate the usual carry-on luggage. We had to gate-check it, and as we awaited delivery to the jetbridge, they talked quietly. Then the bags were available for us to grab and go, and I observed the young woman going to retrieve one or more of their bags. Odd, I thought, that HE wouldn’t do that job. Inwardly, I shook my head.
“Getting to be an old guy,” I thought, “because a man should always do the heavy lifting. That girlfriend, or wife, whichever she was, should not have to go get the suitcase. Where is chivalry, or common respect anymore?”
At the gate, waiting for the connecting flight home, I watched another couple. They were younger and married, by the rings they each wore on the appropriate finger. She was leaning on his shoulder, dressed attractively, and seemingly content. Why she would be comfortable, I could not figure out. Because there he sat, with a portable game player, thumbs banging away on the controls as he made his way through mazes, or past aliens, or whatever the challenge in front of him was.
He was fully engaged. Actually, fully DISengaged. He seemed absolutely oblivious to his wife. The PSP had his full attention. The woman next to him was not even acknowledged in the least. I pondered what I was seeing, and reflected that there are plenty of times when my wife and I have been simply “talked out,” content to simply be together and not in any particular need of conversation. I’m okay at those moments, and she is as well. Life needs some space. This was not such an occasion, though, it was plain to see. “Wake up, man” I thought. “Set the stupid game down and talk to her!”
Maybe its because my own wife and I are just so tired these days from parenting our children, one of whom has some special needs, that it is hard to even imagine having uninterrupted talk-time. We don’t travel together without them. We have a few dates each month, but often those are more like business sessions, going over some issue related to parenting, home schooling, or the budget, or the calendar.
I guess I projected onto this guy. As I thought some more, I wanted to get in his face and say, ”Hey buddy, what are you doing? You have a pretty wife, she adores you, she wants and needs you to talk with her. Don’t fritter away this prime opportunity for growing closer together and for feeding her soul on a mindless video game.”
That’s what I had rolling around in my mind, alright, when I suddenly realized the Pharisee in me. Oops. Busted.
Suddenly bothered at my own shortcomings, I had to admit there are times – too many, really – when I have an opportunity to talk with my precious wife. She wants and needs me to do that. I want to keep growing closer, to nurture her, to connect. But I easily turn my attentions elsewhere. Instead of running through the day’s events, I succumb to the distractions of email. Instead of sharing some of my heart, I read the newspaper. Instead of talking about the kids, and what’s going on in their lives, I check out, distracted by some arcane activity.
So, on my way home I will cherish in my heart the beautiful wife God has given me. I’ll think of her anew. I’ll determine here and now to avoid the distractions. I’ll renew my attentions to her. I’ll endeavor to get away with her more frequently.
And I think I’ll try to be less judgmental of others at airports.
(If you’d like to hear some dynamic interaction about the nature of marriage, listen to this conversation.)
Hot Tamales
I have a jar of the “Hot Tamales” candy on my desk. These folks kindly sent it to me, and their reason had to do with their area of expertise. Intrigued? Check out this link.
Many Military Families Struggle
I’ve had a lot of stability in my life. We’ve been in Colorado Springs for over 16 years, attended the same church for the entire time, lived in the same house for nine years. There is a certain predictability to our family patterns and a real connection to our surroundings.
Contrast that with men and women who serve in our military. They move frequently, leave loved ones behind as they go overseas for months (years) at a time. They sometimes leave before a child is born, and miss out on that son or daughter’s first steps, first words. Sometimes they never come back.
The challenges a family faces enormous pressures, more than most families encounters.
How about you? Are you in the military? What kinds of struggles has your family gone through?
Here’s a helpful article for those who are fighting for freedom…and their family. And here’s a conversation about what you can do to help strengthen our armed services.
A Jackhammer To The Process
“The California Supreme Court has taken a jackhammer to the democratic process … Four judges discarded the votes of 4,618,673 Californians who approved the state’s ‘Defense of Marriage Act.’ ”
That’s Tony Perkins, who is one of the guests on today’s important conversation hosted by Dr. Dobson. Listen to learn why should you care about the lunacy in that Californian court.
In Love? How To REALLY Know
An age old question that remains a mystery to many younger adults. Check out some answers here.
BTW, thanks to Jeremy and Ellie for the photo op.
If You Are Single
If you single, here is a video of a candid conversation about the expectations many women have about marriage. Pretty informative!
Why Are You Married?
Here’s a portion of a very good discussion about the design for marriage - knowing how it is supposed to work can make all the difference in the world for a couple.
If You Have These, We Can Help
Common to many marriages, this kind of conflict can be terribly damaging to the relationship. Here’s a man with exceptional wisdom and insight, and he is fascinating, too.
Reflections on Their Loss
Sitting in the studio for this conversation was a great privilege, and a also moving experience. The guests had previously met, but the dynamics of the situation could not be ignored. Here were two families who – by worldly standards – had no reason to be cordial, and their coming together under these circumstances was in itself pretty remarkable.
Here were parents who were joined together in the loss of children to unexpected violence, and united in a common faith built on forgiveness.
Dr. and Mrs. Ronald Murray and Mr. and Mrs. David Works have quite a remarkable story to tell. A lot of people are listening.
A Week Of Love
Where have we been this week? Aside from some server problems and putting some fires out at the office, some excellent radio happening here.
Monday featured a wonderfully touching program about long-term love - in the face of adversity. Everyone I know who heard that show has the same kind of reaction: I hope if I ever face something as difficult as the speaker did that I’ll be able to faithfully and unselfishly love my spouse.
Then a two-day series about how love can survive the heartache and pain of one partner’s infidelity. Here’s a sample response from one listener:
The broadcast today was such a blessing–we have been dealing with something similar for a few years. It was so wonderful to hear someone (with such a hopeful story). Right before I confronted my husband (about his infidelity) I heard a Focus on the Family broadcast that totally changed my approach to him which helped me deal with it in a more godly manner. I’m just so thankful for all the input you put into our family’s life—YOU REALLY MADE A DIFFERENCE TO US.
And to encourage couples during their honeymoon years, these guests know how to make the most of those first twelve months. Great ideas, and pretty unique book!
