Keep Haiti On Your Mind, On Your Computer

Here’s an easy way to remember Haiti: install this touching desktop photo-illustration.

Using Facebook Smartly

I did it. I finally gave in and let my 15 year-old set up a Facebook account. And I’m glad to say she is using the site wisely – so far.

Of course, Facebook is one huge phenomena. The site dominates the social media world, with growing adoption by both businesses and individuals. In fact, I read recently Facebook is now the largest photo-sharing site, overtaking Flickr and other (previously) popular sites. And it isn’t just a site for young people – now seniors are flocking to Facebook (here’s some research on what older folks are doing online).

Still, far too many folks are lacking in common sense when it comes to their Facebook accounts. They over-share, don’t limit their “friends,” and often find themselves spending far too many hours clicking, reading and posting.

Here’s a look at ways that people can actually hurt their relationships by relying so heavily on Facebook for their communications. For some insight about how unrealistic people are when it comes to social networking, see the related comments section, in which many people take the author to task for having the audacity to criticize the way some Facebook users really abuse the tool.

If you’d like to make sure you are taking an appropriate approach to your Facebook use, here’s a general list of things you can do to protect your identity and privacy — and your time; and here’s another helpful article. And here’s a guide to making sure you have appropriately adjusted your Facebook privacy settings.

Readers, if you have a story about Facebook – experiences good or bad – leave a comment for us. We’d like to benefit from opinions and wisdom.

Lessons From Letterman

I am not a regular viewer of late night television, and I hadn’t intended to post about the David Letterman situation. The matter continues to capture headlines and the public’s attention, though, so I’ve thought some more about what happened and what lessons we might learn from the scandal.

First, Mr. Letterman was wrong in engaging in sexual activity outside of marriage. He knew it then, he certainly knows it now. He offered apologies to his staff and more importantly, to his wife. That’s good, but ouch, it as painful to watch. I truly hope his wife is forgiving, and that their marriage survives this incident. But there’s an important lesson here: Stay faithful to your spouse, and don’t have sex if you aren’t married.

Second, it is apparent that our expectations – as the general public – about moral behavior are not very high. Witness the recent support for disgraced film-maker Roman Polanski, who years ago fled the U.S. after pleading guilty to raping a 13 year-old. When Swiss authorities arrested Polanski, more than 100 prominent Hollywood figures rallied to his defense and suggested that Polanski is such a talented filmmaker, with such a body of great work, that there’s no real basis for bringing him back to the U.S. Excuse me? We’re supposed to dismiss his criminal behavior because he’s a successful artist? Whatever happened to justice?

Related, there was the commentator who said that Letterman didn’t do anything illegal, and he is just a “victim” of the alleged extortion plot. The label of “victim” really seems more appropriate for those employees he had relations with, not for the host. While technically true that there doesn’t seem to be illegal activity here, sexual harassment charges might be pursued. Similar to the Polanski argument, this was a case of overlooking Letterman’s actions because he is a popular entertainer.

Then there’s our cultural preoccupation with Jon and Kate, the seemingly never-ending saga of a young (Christian?) couple with eight young children. Their marital break-up is frequently in the news, and at last report their once-popular television show will be re-titled “Kate Plus 8.” Folks read and watch this marriage as it disintegrates — as if we’re slowing down to gawk at the fender bender that just happened, a morbid fascination with the tragedy unfolding before us.

Lesson two: The public is usually unwilling to apply moral standards to those in the entertainment business,  because they…entertain us. It seems we’re willing to overlook almost any behavior if you are a celebrity.

Back to the Letterman situation, it is apparent many people are quite forgiving and willing to accept his behavior. They will still watch Dave, and still laugh at his jokes. Still, others are taking the guy to task, suggesting he should get off the air and pay a penalty for his sins. They’ll probably not watch him anymore, distracted and somewhat offended by his personal behaviors. Which leads to lesson three: No matter how you handle a moral failure, there will be both critics and supporters. You can explain and you can apologize, but know that you’ll never be able to garner 100% support when you’ve failed others. Your reputation may recover, but not likely.

An overarching lesson from this incident is probably this: integrity matters. No matter what Mr. Letterman does to “fix” this situation, people have been hurt, he has lost some respect and credibility, and nothing will help him rebuild that sense of broken trust with the general public.

I take no joy in seeing any marriage damaged by infidelity, nor in seeing any person’s personal failings made public. David Letterman is paying a high price for his impulsive behaviors, and I pray he will find true forgiveness from his wife; also that this difficulty will lead him to the forgiving God who alone can offer ultimate healing.

Do You Twitter (Yet)?

First came news of an infusion of $100 Million. Then statistics that show Twitter is still growing at a very fast clip.

A recent report by eMarketer.com says at least 18 million adults access Twitter on any given platform monthly. That’s a 200% increase over 2008 estimates! Additionally, eMarketer projects that Twitter users will total 26 million by next year.

Of course, not every user is a frequent user. Previous studies show that many people try Twitter once or twice – and then give up. Still, interest in the service is growing, and a financial model is being refined, so expect Twitter to stick around for some time to come.

I wonder if my readers use Twitter? And, do you read my Twitter feed (look in the top right hand corner)? Why not “follow me” for a while to see what this is all about?

Forgiveness In Your Marriage

Maybe you saw the recent webcast featuring Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham, in which they shared powerful concepts and practical ideas for couples in need of forgiveness. Here’s the link to see the entire video. Some great stuff here that will benefit every marriage.

Is Facebook Helping Or Hurting?

I’ll admit to being somewhat fascinated by the social media craze. I am not afraid to jump into the water and try new things out, and I’ve become rather conversant about blogging, Facebook, texting and Twitter. I think I’m pretty balanced when it comes to these technological tools, not addicted to them, nor ignorant of their power.

In all things moderation? I try. And yet the line is fine, and at times I wonder if these new ways to communicate are helping – or hurting – relationships. I especially think about this when I see my teens wanting to spend hours online…fortunately, they want to have “face time” with their friends even more.

Here’s one perspective about social media and relationships. It is worth reading, in which the writer suggests that Facebook, among other things, is ruining friendships. And here’s a more positive view, that social media creates community, something for both parents and business people to consider. Finally, a quick read for those who are overwhelmed by all this quick communication.

Last Day: Do You Post Ultrasound Pics?

Closing the poll later today, so tell tell us ASAP: Have you, or will you, post pictures of your ultrasound online? Why or why not?

Horror Film Does Disservice to Orphans

Next month a new horror film will be released about a family that brings an orphan into their home. While I’m not a fan of the genre, what really bothers me about this movie is its distorted portrayal of orphans.

There are millions of fatherless children worldwide, and they should be offered our love, not presented as a sick stereotype in a horror movie.

Here’s a short video from someone who takes issue with the film – and offers some interesting perspectives about who orphans really are, and what we can do to reach out to them.

Please Welcome The Plugged In Podcast!

My team is very excited about the new Plugged In podcast! It is a weekly audio program that delivers the kind of thoughtful insights about the world of media and entertainment that you’ve come to expect from the Plugged In staff. Be one of the first to subscribe (here) and let us know what you think.

Jim Daly at The White House

In case you missed it, here’s an interview with the president of Focus on the Family U.S., Jim Daly. I thought he had some interesting things to say about Father’s Day, faith and policy – both to the reporter and to President Barack Obama.

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