Dad’s Involvement Benefits Mental Development

Several studies have shown an association between the levels of a father’s involvement with his infant and that child’s development of cognitive competence. Engaging on a daily basis with your toddler, from playing with blocks to reading books, will help his brain power! In fact, these benefits can be seen in very young children.

Six-month-old babies score higher on tests of mental developments if their dads are involved in their lives. The simple act of reading books to your child can enhance their literary skills.

Dad, it will pay for you to get involved with your child!

Practicing Silence, I

As a parent of six children, I experience quite a bit of conversation in my home. The talking, yelling, arguing, and (this is the good part) laughter seem unending. There are times when I wonder what quiet is really like, or if I will ever experience silence in the house before 11:30 p.m. There is simply little time of quiet in the home, but that is to be expected with a larger family.

I am grateful for our children and their desire to share about their lives with me. When I walk in through the front door, I’m glad they want to fill me on their day, on the news of the home, of whatever they are feeling. That is a rewarding exchange, and in listening I learn a lot about my kids. I also show them love when I truly listen.

Professionally, I am in the business of communication. I often joke that I get paid to talk for a living – and there is some truth to that! It is a wonderful thing, and I enjoy what I do. There is a danger in this line of work, though, and that is in talking too much.

At times I feel compelled to fill every empty moment in a conversation with talk, because, after all, I fancy myself a good talker! The problem is that too much of a good thing is bad. And in speaking too freely or frequently, I am in danger of making my own thoughts and ideas somehow become less meaningful.

Personally, I struggle at times with being fast and loose with my words. I tend to speak first and then think about what to say. This happens at work and in discussions with friends. Most frequently, though, I do this at home. I’ve got to change that habit!

This concept of using words well – and speaking less - is something I want my children to learn. Too often I fail at modeling this more “thoughtful” approach to conversation for them. More often than I care to admit here, I find myself apologizing to them - and to my dear wife - for saying things I shouldn’t have, or for using an improper tone as I speak, or for not listening better.

Parenting is hard, and this is probably one of the more difficult aspects of raising kids that I’ve dealt with. May the Lord help me “hold my tongue” with my family this week. More on this in a day or two.

Webcast With Dr. Leman: Thanks For Watching!

Last Friday Dr. Kevin Leman and I hosted a webcast about parenting a first-born child. We had a great time interacting with you, and appreciated the questions and comments that so many of our friends submitted.

Look for more webcasts in the future. Meantime, you’ll find superb advice - and a caring community - for Moms and Dads at our online parenting forum.

A Child’s Prayer Gives Perspective

From a journal entry a while back, something other dads might relate to in some way…

~~~

It is now nearly 10 p.m. The day has been full, and the evening activities have been non-stop. Musings on a busy day…

I was tired from the wildness of my day at the office. So, as I retired to my castle, ready for some respite and quiet, I probably had some unreasonable expectations. It is foolish to expect any semblance of quiet when I come home to this beloved bunch. Can they possibly be any more expressive and dramatic - and loud?

Sensing chaos and desiring order, I pull on the gloves and start to be the heavyweight champion of the dad-world. My wife is tired, and so am I, but I am up to the challenge! I will bring these kids into compliance, I will help them behave like little adults. I will prove the victor in getting some control of our – my – house and our – my – children.

Oh foolishness, indeed! I do not succeed in helping the kids calm down. No, I instead lose control and become an Ogre (hear me roar), I’m Mr. Bad-Guy. I morph into Mr. “Don’t Break The Rules Or Else” man. And in the process I yell, I lose it, I say stupid things. Drat!

So now my wife is in bed, the children are drifting off and here am I thinking about what went wrong. The kids and I did “make up,” for which I am glad. That happened as we prayed. Those times together of petitioning God often serve as reminders that I love them, and that God is in control - even when Daddy isn’t.

Prayer is how I will survive and succeed as a parent. And one of my daughters had treasure of a prayer tonight. She was priceless in asking God to touch some sick relatives, to bring glory to Himself in the midst of the recent tragedies of the world, to help us know Him better. Beautiful prayer. A reminder, perhaps, that we are making some progress, even when external behaviors don’t necessarily look encouraging?

As I think through the eve, I believe I can do better. I must bring my expectations and my words and attitudes into line with what God has for me. I can set a better tone. Not on my own., however!

Lord help me? And thanks, God, for that child’s wonderful prayer tonight. Hear her heart cries for others, I pray. Amen.

Facebook Is Like A Tatoo

Facebook is huge, with over 100 million users. If you have teens in your home, like me, you’ll want to monitor carefully your child’s participation in such social networking sites. Also, tell him or her about unintended consequences of using such sites - like a tatoo, Facebook comments and antics are rather permanent - and apparent to others - as seen in this article.

Friday Webcast With Dr. Kevin Leman

Be sure to stop by Friday for a special webcast with parenting expert, Dr. Kevin Leman. Details here.

While you’re at it, listen in for a two-day conversation with Dr. Leman about the many advantages firstborns have in life. Really! Whether you are a first-born or have one, this is helpful insight from one of the foremost experts on birth order.

Rock Climbing

Zane is part of a “play group” which meets regularly. The kids learn to interact appropriately, playing games and being in different social settings. Their progress is tracked quantitatively. The therapists take the children on an occasional field trip, and recently the experience was indoor rock-climbing. Zane donned a helmet and braved the heights…to a point. After scaling about 12 feet up the wall, he declared, “I am tired, I want to get down.”

The progress these kids make under this kind of program is pretty encouraging, and for parents with a child who has autism, I highly recommend a similar approach, if possible.

Dad And Son Hang On For Life

This story is sure to bring some tears to every parent. Grab a tissue!

Friday Five: Favorite Things About The Weekend

In random order, five things our family enjoys about weekends:

Saturday morning pancakes
Sleeping in (for the adults that means sleeping past 5:30, for the kids that means sleeping until 7:30 or later)
Going to church
Cleaning the house (well, this is something the parents enjoy more than the children!)
Homemade pizza for Sunday lunch, popcorn for dinner

And how about your family? Any treasured aspects to the weekend?

Camping Pics

From our recent camping trip (see August 29 post) some photos…

Top: At Weston Pass, where there is - still! - snow at the end of August.
Center: The river was slow and meandering. Perfect for playing!
Bottom two pics: Beautiful child, beautiful Colorado scenery.