Friday Five: Five Unique Kids

Dena and I are fortunate to have five wonderful children still living at home. While Big Brother is off at college,  the remaining siblings carry on with various family traditions and keeping things, er, interesting. Here is one observation about each of those five:

Seth is tall, really tall, and enjoying his friends, basketball, and schoolwork (in that order, too).

Allie is tall, too, and is gifted with an artistic sensibility and flair; a natural “drama queen.”

Saige is exceptionally bright and articulate. Good with words and numbers, she is also a gifted “drama queen.”

Tauvi is wonderfully content, very flexible and accepting, and an eager student of nature. She is also a natural “drama queen.”

Zane is  determined and a very good little problem solver (although I don’t always appreciate his solutions to problems!).

Now, don’t get me wrong, despite the many positive traits they have, my kids are very (very!) normal children, with the same issues and challenges as most other kids I’ve met. The four oldest have trusted in Christ and are growing spiritually, and in my book, that is the most important part of their lives - and the most significant thing to know about them.
While we are pretty tired parents, we’re grateful to God for each child He has given.

What’d You Eat For Breakfast?

I grew up on a diet full of Cap’n Crunch, Cocoa Puffs and Pop Tarts. Not exactly a great way to start the day, and I have more than my share of dental fillings as a result of those and other sugar-laden foods as a kid. But hey, they were quick, readily available, and I liked ‘em!

What did you routinely have for breakfast as a kid?

These days, I am more moderate in my food choices, opting for a balance of carbs and protein. For the most part, I avoid empty calories. I do have my morning coffee, but I drink it black.

We serve our children a lot of whole grains, and when we do have cereal, it is from the organics section of the health food store.  Lest you think us harsh, we DO let the kids have the sweeter cereals when we travel.

Pre-packaged, processed cereals remain a popular breakfast food these days. There’s a new report about the best - and worst - of the bunch. No big surprises.  Here’s an article that lists some of the winners (and losers!), and offers some good, common-sense breakfast ideas for busy parents to try.

Dads Of Larger Families

Talking recently to a co-worker who has seven children, I became aware of how tiring it can be to parent a larger family. Sometimes it feels like a merry-go-round, or a carnival ride that just keeps going in circles…and I can’t get off!

I am pretty familiar first-hand with the difficulties in balancing time between work and my family relationships. How can I find the moments to meaningfully connect with first my wife and then each of my children? This is a responsibility I take seriously. I believe God has called me to be my family’s loving leader and I am increasingly aware of the long-term impact of my parenting. It is a struggle for me which requires continual evaluation, reflection, prayer, thought and action.  Life is full, I am busy, and humanly speaking, I can’t pull this thing off. God, help me do this well!

Anyway, just had a quick conversation with a co-worker, Mike, who has a very daunting task. He has a larger family, and the financial strain he deals with is significant.

Mike is working full time at the office. To supplement the family’s income, he delivers newspapers every day. That requires him to rise very early each morning. And now with tax season approaching, he will soon be spending increasing hours preparing taxes for others. Three jobs!

As he described his schedule, I realized that however pulled in many directions I am feeling, Mike is stretched far more. While I may be tired, he is exhausted. I am blessed to have but one job, and we are able to make it on that income, but Mike works three different jobs to provide for his family’s needs.

“How do you find time to be with your family?” I asked. Well, he said, he has Sundays off, and a couple of evenings are free.

I queried, “I have a difficult time engaging with and leading my family. How do YOU do it?” Mike looked at me, smiled weakly, and said he tries as best he can.

After that conversation, I thanked God for my own situation, and with a conviction that I have little room to complain about being short on time and tired! I can only hope that I will be the husband and daddy my wife and kids need.

So my prayer is that I’ll have the energy and wisdom to engage my family, interact with them, and lead well. Let me go home tonight and provide the emotional support with strength, guide the table talk with purpose, and demonstrate love in meaningful ways to each member of my family. Guess I’d better start making that transition, from “Mr. Office” to “Mr. Husband and Dad” as I drive home this evening.

To other Dads, what about you? If you have several children, how do you balance your time? How do you meet all the needs?  Do you have any balance in life?

Grandparents Who Pray

I’m quite certain that I’m still several years away from being called “grandpa.”  At least I hope so! I’m not even 50…

Recently, I’ve been impacted by hearing Peggy Powell talk about nurturing grandchildren through prayer.  She says that creativity is key in this effort.  So if you’re a grandparent looking for a few ideas to get started as a praying influence on one or more grandkids, click here and look for Peggy’s “The ABCs of Praying for Your Grandchildren” under the “Web Exclusives” banner.

Friday Five: Birthday Traditions

Our family has some birthday traditions which include:

  1. Birthday Person picks the day’s dinner
  2. Each of us takes a turn praying a special word of thanks or blessing for the Birthday Person
  3. Cake (or similar sweet) with “Happy Birthday Song”
  4. After cake, open some presents
  5. Typically, Dena and I don’t give the Birthday Person a physical present - we prefer to give an experience the entire family can participate in. Over the years we have had train rides, amusement park visits, stops at various museums, gone to a butterfly pavillion (neat place), stayed in a hotel so we could play and swim, and just gone out for a meal together (not cheap to do that these days).

We find the children like these routines and if we skip anything on that list, they notice and say something! Family memories are built around such traditions, and it is most likely that your children will take the celebration patterns they enjoyed growing up and continue the practices with their own kids.

What do you do to celebrate birthdays in your family?

Johnny Stallings

What a remarkable young man, with thousands of friends across the country. You may have seen him on television, on the sidelines with his dad, Coach Gene Stallings. Every dad should hear what Coach said about his son. Be sure to watch a slideshow about Johnny that’ll bring a tear to your eye.

We’ve already received a lot of comments about this program. Did it touch you?

Practicing Silence, II

The Old Testament book of Proverbs has much about the value of guarding the tongue, letting it fall silent and speaking little. Chapter 17 is especially meaningful to me, as it seems to capture the difficulties of trying to use the tongue well.

Over in the New Testament, James addresses this subject with great eloquence. His word picture of a ship set on course by a small rudder is a perfect analogy of how a few stray words can turn the direction of a conversation, or even of an entire relationship, in a different direction.

You and I would do well to heed these great insights! I’ve almost memorized these passages, because I look at them so frequently. My heart’s desire is to be quieter in everyday life. I desperately want to slow down my tongue, express my opinion less, and be more thoughtful with my words. At the least, in so doing I’ll display a bit of wisdom (see Proverbs 17:28)!

About the value of being quiet, Francois Fenelon (1651-1715) said this:

“Silence promotes the presence of God, prevents many harsh and proud words, and suppresses many dangers in the way of ridiculing or harshly judging our neighbors… If you are faithful in keeping silence when it is not necessary to speak, God will preserve you from evil when it is right for you to talk.”

May you and I use our words well, and may those words we do speak be useful and beneficial to others.
And in those moments of quiet, may we powerfully experience God’s presence.

Video: Parenting First Borns

leman-screen-grab.jpgWe featured Dr. Kevin Leman on a recent webcast, as noted previously. Here’s the link to the video, if you’d like to watch.

I’d be interested to know what you think, so give a look and leave a comment below? Thanks!

Considering College?

two-students.jpgThis morning I awoke to the realization that our second son is going to be considering college soon.  We’ve done the process only once before, but it takes quite a bit of work to determine which school will be the best fit.

The folks at Boundless have two “Top 10″ lists that college-bound students - and their parents - should know about. Helpful!

Dad’s Involvement Benefits Mental Development

Several studies have shown an association between the levels of a father’s involvement with his infant and that child’s development of cognitive competence. Engaging on a daily basis with your toddler, from playing with blocks to reading books, will help his brain power! In fact, these benefits can be seen in very young children.

Six-month-old babies score higher on tests of mental developments if their dads are involved in their lives.  The simple act of reading books to your child can enhance their literary skills.

Dad, it will pay for you to get involved with your child!

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