Rocky Mountain High

Have you had a good family vacation this summer? Last week our family visited the western slope of Colorado, enjoying time in a state wildlife area (gorgeous!) and then a week at family camp. We had a blast!

Look, Dad, I can get my boots wet! Zane loved the mountain stream we hiked along.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Our youngest daughter enjoyed a snake she caught. Mercy was shown hours later when “Corbett” was released.

 

 

Chatting With Brandon Heath

In April I was in Nashville for Gospel Music Week, and had the privilege of talking with Brandon Heath, who has had some great response to his new single. It was a really enjoyable conversation with a fellow who displays some admirable depth of heart and soul. I’ll post more of his comments here in the coming days.

BTW, I only had one microphone, so won’t be able to show you a true Q&A format here. Just his responses to some questions I asked. Up first, some thoughts from Brandon about his songwriting and storytelling - I asked what he hoped to accomplish through his music?

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Find out more at Brandon’s website.

Terminal D, Friday Noon

Let me share some thoughts from an experience from last week, at the Dallas-Fort Worth airport:

They came along the upper deck of Terminal D. Three and four across, they strode the walkway toward an unknown destination. Men and women in combat fatigues. Carrying packs and gear bags, they were obviously back from a tour of duty in the Middle East.

I first became aware of the clapping several gates down from where we sat eating lunch. And as the wave of applause came nearer we joined in. Many in the terminal stood to honor the soldiers as they passed by.

One man raised his glass in a toast to those warriors who, having fought for the freedom that we enjoy and too often take for granted, were finally coming home.

Home to be reunited with loved ones and friends. Home to recover from the wounds, physical, or emotional - or both. Home to a daily routine that doesn’t revolve around the threat of IEDs, planning escape routes, weapon readiness and patrols. No known enemies here, no bad guys to engage, no need to say goodbye to fallen comrades. They were coming home to safety, security, serenity. And they surely needed, wanted and deserved to be home.

The applause continued. On and on those soldiers came. The clapping kept on going, as well. It was an emotional scene. I found my eyes tearing up as this kept on for at least seven or eight minutes. So what that my food had gone a bit cold – I was sure these brave men and women had had plenty of cold meals, plenty of interrupted lunches, while they served in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or wherever they had been for months. I could enjoy my entrée’ in a few moments. This was a moment to let go of my own selfish interests and to express gratitude to those who risked it all for me and for my family.

I wanted to capture this moment and never forget.

How I wanted my wife to see this. How I wanted my kids to be here, so they could catch a glimpse of the honor being afforded these warriors. I hope they will one day have the same kind of opportunity, the privilege, to one day give a round of applause for some soldiers passing through an airport.

So they never forget.

Couple of Pics From Family Camp

A couple of weeks ago our family enjoyed a very special week at Redcloud Ranch, near Lake City, Colorado. It is a beautiful place, with some wonderful folks. We had a grand time, playing in God’s creation and enjoying some fellowship.

Top: Here’s a picture of the camp Chapel, nestled in the foothills. Inspirational!

Bottom: Yours truly on a hike. Refreshing!

Chapel

John\'s hike

Observations From An Airport

Watched a couple getting off the connecting flight in Dallas. The puddle-jumper, which the airline more respectably calls a “regional jet,” could not accommodate the usual carry-on luggage. We had to gate-check it, and as we awaited delivery to the jetbridge, they talked quietly. Then the bags were available for us to grab and go, and I observed the young woman going to retrieve one or more of their bags. Odd, I thought, that HE wouldn’t do that job. Inwardly, I shook my head.

“Getting to be an old guy,” I thought, “because a man should always do the heavy lifting. That girlfriend, or wife, whichever she was, should not have to go get the suitcase. Where is chivalry, or common respect anymore?”

At the gate, waiting for the connecting flight home, I watched another couple. They were younger and married, by the rings they each wore on the appropriate finger. She was leaning on his shoulder, dressed attractively, and seemingly content. Why she would be comfortable, I could not figure out. Because there he sat, with a portable game player, thumbs banging away on the controls as he made his way through mazes, or past aliens, or whatever the challenge in front of him was.

He was fully engaged. Actually, fully DISengaged. He seemed absolutely oblivious to his wife. The PSP had his full attention. The woman next to him was not even acknowledged in the least. I pondered what I was seeing, and reflected that there are plenty of times when my wife and I have been simply “talked out,” content to simply be together and not in any particular need of conversation.  I’m okay at those moments, and she is as well. Life needs some space. This was not such an occasion, though, it was plain to see. “Wake up, man” I thought. “Set the stupid game down and talk to her!”

Maybe its because my own wife and I are just so tired these days from parenting our children, one of whom has some special needs, that it is hard to even imagine having uninterrupted talk-time. We don’t travel together without them. We have a few dates each month, but often those are more like business sessions, going over some issue related to parenting, home schooling, or the budget, or the calendar.

I guess I projected onto this guy. As I thought some more, I wanted to get in his face and say,  ”Hey buddy, what are you doing? You have a pretty wife, she adores you, she wants and needs you to talk with her. Don’t fritter away this prime opportunity for growing closer together and for feeding her soul on a mindless video game.”

That’s what I had rolling around in my mind, alright, when I suddenly realized the Pharisee in me. Oops. Busted.

Suddenly bothered at my own shortcomings, I had to admit there are times – too many, really – when I have an opportunity to talk with my precious wife. She wants and needs me to do that. I want to keep growing closer, to nurture her, to connect. But I easily turn my attentions elsewhere. Instead of running through the day’s events, I succumb to the distractions of email.  Instead of sharing some of my heart, I read the newspaper.  Instead of talking about the kids, and what’s going on in their lives, I check out, distracted by some arcane activity.

So, on my way home I will cherish in my heart the beautiful wife God has given me. I’ll think of her anew. I’ll determine here and now to avoid the distractions. I’ll renew my attentions to her. I’ll endeavor to get away with her more frequently.

And I think I’ll try to be less judgmental of others at airports.

(If you’d like to hear some dynamic interaction about the nature of marriage, listen to this conversation.)

Taking On A Toddler

Came across this journal entry from about two years ago and thought it might be helpful to a dad (or mom) out there. Can you relate?

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Took my toddler for a walk today. He had been rather content for most of the day. We did have some trouble down at the pool, as he had a difficult time concentrating. From “I want in” to “I want out,” he bounced back and forth. Eventually I tired of his lack of consistent interest, and so we went back home.

Eating seemed to help settle things down. After a nice little snack, we took a walk. Well, I walked, he rode his “bike.” Picture one of those plastic Big Wheel kind of things, only smaller. He cannot reach the pedals yet – almost! – and so scoots it around with foot power. Rudimentary travel method, but it works for him. And any way that he can burn some energy is a good thing!

We tooled around for a while. As we got to the apparent point of no return, at which he would start to fade, Little Man decided to challenge me. Now, I had been pretty relaxed and so I was up for battle. And I did indeed win. Along the way, his dispassionate expressions and stares seemed to say, “What, are you talking to me? Not sure I can read you. Huh?” And thus the parenting skills were applied.

Now, I try to make these times of disobedience, in which it is clear he is challenging my authority, unpleasant for the child. I think a child who is willingly disobedient ought to have some consequences for such behavior. That outcome ought to be bothersome, at the least, and I prefer it to be an unwelcome outcome of their behavior. You know, it just seems that such a child should feel some…discomfort. That’s how I signal that I am not going to tolerate their defiance, and it seems to work. My two strong-willed kids have responded to such parenting techniques.

So on our walk, when he clearly disobeyed, I picked the boy up off his bike, hoisted him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and scooped up the vehicle with my free hand. He does not like this posture. However, I find it easy, and it also restrains him so that he cannot in anger hit or scratch me (it happens). Thus we “walked” toward home. Somewhere along the way, he effectively convinced me that he was ready to follow my lead. So  put him down, and he got back onto his bike. A moment later he looked up at me, thrust his hand up into the air, and grabbed my hand.

This was a “keeper” moment. After disciplining him, my son literally reached out to me, wanting my involvement and physical touch. Have to admit that felt pretty good!

Then later, at bedtime, he was pretty wound up, and would not quiet down.  So I held him tightly. Very tightly. Not to a point of hurting him, just to let him know “I am serious about this, you’ve gotta settle down and get to sleep.” He fought me. Wiggle, scream, claw at my back, arch his back, bang his head  on my shoulder, writhe as if in great pain (he wasn’t). On and on and on for almost 10 minutes. Whew!

Then, the breakthrough. He calmed down a bit, and fought me less. Finally, after a few more minutes, he settled into my shoulder. Head nestled up against mine, he accepted the warmth, the touch, the safety and security that I offered. Sigh. Contentment. Peace. It was a great moment, and I drank it in.

In these two incidents, a 35 month-old, 35 pound boy tried to take me on. He exerted his will, defied me and said, “No.” He clearly did not want to obey me. He would do as he pleased. In response to that challenge I held firm, laid down the law and expected him to accept my direction. I didn’t get angry, I didn’t threaten. I acted. I let him know in no uncertain terms that he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t disregard me.  My intent was to help him see that I love him, but he’d have to go my way.

Somehow, in these encounters, I think he got that message.

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Update: That Little Man turned five last week. He continues to challenge boundaries and our authority, but thatr’s just part of his DNA. In many, many ways he is a wonderfully delightful boy. And he still responds to a calm, measured parent’s loving direction!

Three Beautiful Girls

 

A while back I took my girls to a Father-Daughter Dance. Hosted by a local school, it was an enjoyable and memorable evening.

Look at them there. Three beautiful daughters, each with special gifts and personalities. I am a blessed Dad!

One of the things that we’ve tried to stress with these darlings is that while they are might good looking ladies, beauty inside is best. Scripture tells us that the inside is valued most highly by God, and yet our culture seems to overemphasize the externals.

If you have a daughter, check out this link for a special video about how you can equip your girl with the right perspectives by one of my colleagues, Dr. Bill Maier. There’s also a fascinating interview with a beauty and fashion expert - and well-known television star Nancy Stafford.

Moms Who Say No

I’m married to a wonderful woman. She’s a terrific wife, and offers a lot of grace toward my many idiosyncrasies. As a mother, Dena’s heart for her kids is evident. She gives her all for our children - and could have an easier life if she’d be less interested in their character and heart and soul. But she is committed to developing responsible adults who love God and others. So she invests…and invests…and invests. I’ve learned so much about good parenting from her.

Among the many things Dena does well: she says no. Many permissive parents have a hard time denying their children’s requests - who wants to be disliked? My wife knows, however, that kids need an authority figure, not a friend. So while she often says, Yes,” she is also quite comfortable in drawing the line, saying “No” and sticking to it. That’s what good moms (and dads) have to do.

Another mom who thinks that same way is Julie Ann Barnhill, who says,

“You have to draw a line in the sand, and I think you have to communicate that verbally and then follow through … You don’t apologize or quantify or reconsider what you’re doing. That’s part of the difficulty of being ‘one tough mother.’ “

Hear more of Julie Ann’s wit and wisdom about motherhood here.

And be encouraged, Mom, to choose and win the right battles with your children!

When God Blesses You

There have been only a few times when I’ve wondered how life might have turned out if we hadn’t had kids, or at least, had fewer children. Usually the thought creeps in when I see how little free time my wife and I have these days to pursue some important - but not urgent - things. Or it might show up in my heart when I see how someone else is spending their money - in ways I could never imagine, what with braces and music lessons and college tuition and clothing and food (boy, have we noticed the rising prices for food!).

These thoughts and feelings occur only once in a great while. After reflecting and processing, I always end up grateful once again for the wonderful children God has given us, and the way that they are turning out. They love the Lord and are, by most measures, really good kids, if I may say so myself. In so many ways, I am a blessed man.

Here’s what a noted Bible teacher had to say about this matter, offering a helpful way to view earthly treasures and God’s greater gifts:

“If you fear the Lord, you will be blessed. How? With a million dollars? No, [the Bible] doesn’t say that. [It] says you know when you’ve been blessed when it’s well with you, and your family is together … Blessing is having a unified family, not a big bank account.”

More here.

Enjoying God’s Creation

As I type this, Piles Peak is surrounded by storm clouds and the view is dramatic. Last week, however, I couldn’t see “the Peak” at all - we were in Texas on the beach. As boys are prone to do, a couple of my boys joined me for some sand castle construction in the sand. Great fun, and a wonderful memory.

I hope you’ve been able to get outdoors and spend some time with family and friends enjoying God’s handiwork. If you’d like suggestions on how to do that, try this discussion.

And while you are there, look for the slideshow of other Fuller Family pictures as we enjoy nature together, as well as a slideshow from a gifted photographer and speaker, Bill Ivy.

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