Helping Families Thrive

I thought you’d find this note encouraging. These kind words are reflective of what many have felt about Focus on the Family over the years:

“I am at a loss for words to adequately express how much it means to my husband and me to know that there is an organization like Focus that is rooting for us.  Just today I was reading Psalm 37 and thinking about how your ministry provides ways to ‘dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.’  We have two teenagers and an 8-year-old in our household.  Adventures in Odyssey got us through the grade school years, but now our adolescents’ faith is being tested by all the entertainment options that the world offers.  Plugged In Online has become a significant compass for our family.  All three of our kids are dedicated to their walk with Christ but they still encounter challenges.  Thanks for all of your research and persistence in helping us navigate through stormy waters.”

This is exactly what we’re about: coming alongside and helping families thrive. It’s a privilege to be part of what our heavenly is doing at and through Focus on the Family. If you have a story, let us know, please. All to the glory of God!

Integrity

“Outside of Steve Jobs at Apple, it’s hard to imagine a CEO that is more important to his company than Mark Hurd to Hewlett-Packard. He did a massive turnaround job.”

That’s how Rick Munarriz, a Motley Fool analyst, described the leadership of the now-fallen Hurd, who resigned Friday following a probe into a sexual-harassment claim against him made by a former HP contractor. Those allegations included a charge that Hurd had approved false reimbursement submissions by the woman.

While he evidently didn’t violate the company’s sexual-harassment policy, Hurd “demonstrated a profound lack of judgment that seriously undermined his credibility and damaged his effectiveness in leading HP,” according to General Counsel Michael Holston.

I’m not going to sit in judgment of Mr. Hurd, who is guilty of, at the least, making some poor choices.  As a result of the revelations, he has made some sort of settlement with the former contractor. He has lost his job. And stockholders are losing money as HP shares are dropping in value.

I’m sure Hurd regrets what has happened.  He’ll remember this indiscretion for the rest of his life. He doesn’t need me to heap any guilt on him. Instead, I’m letting this news story be a reminder that today I’m capable of poor choices. I need to live with wisdom, avoiding impropriety. I have to keep my life in line with my values and words. I need to demonstrate integrity in all things. I can’t have any holes in my life.

“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” That’s a quote attributed to C.S. Lewis, and I think that’s a pretty good thing to keep in mind as I go about my activities. Especially when no one is looking.

Related to this subject: Authenticity. More on that at a later date, but for now, consider this radio interview for a relevant, biblical perspective on living life consistently, in all ways.

Pride Addiction

Our theme on a recent Focus on the Family broadcast centered on the ways we tend to shield ourselves in different relationships by hiding behind emotional masks.  During that conversation, guests Julie Barnhill and Shaunti Feldhahn talked about being addicted to pride.  This link will take you to a small quiz to help you identify whether you are operating either from a position of pride or brokenness in your relationships.

(Note, link fixed, sorry for the inconvenience!)

Parenting Dos and Don’ts

A recent post about “helicopter parenting” was pretty eye-opening for many readers – in the post I included a poll, and most respondents admitted they hover over their kids way too much. How about you?

If you’d like to be a better parent, give a listen to this excellent conversation with Chip Ingram about how to approach the joyful task – he offers some great insights and wisdom.

Also, if you haven’t done so, take a few minutes to give your input at our broadcast survey here.

Thanks – and Prayers

Here’s a comment that encouraged all of us here at Focus. It also inspired me personally to persevere in prayer for those in our armed forces.

“I’m an infantry officer in the United States Marine Corps and spent eight months in Iraq.  I want to express my sincere appreciation to Focus on the Family.  The daily prayers and support of millions of Americans kept my Marines and me alive and delivered us home to our loved ones.  Having been an avid supporter of your ministry for many years, I continue to applaud your efforts to defend the family and promote the Christian principles that have made this country the greatest nation on earth.  May God bless you all – Semper Fidelis.”
Also, listen in to this honest conversation about the stresses that military families have to deal with. If you haven’t done so today, take a moment to ask God’s protection and favor on those serving our country. And pray again for them.

Your Feedback

As you probably know, Focus on the Family is here to come alongside families like yours with relevance and grace at each stage of the journey.  We support families as they seek to teach their children about God and His beautiful design for the family, protect themselves from the harmful influences of culture, and equip themselves to make a greater difference in the lives of those around them.

As we often say on-air, we’re here to help.  With practical resources – like our 1-800 Family Help line, counseling, and Websites – we’re committed to providing trustworthy, biblical guidance and support.

Of course, one aspect of our outreach involves radio, and it has been a true privilege to work on the daily Focus program for most of my tenure here at the ministry.  And some of the greatest joy is in hearing from folks who have been touched by our work. We receive a significant number of comments every day about our radio programming, much of it quite encouraging and touching. Let me share just one story that we just received:

Over twenty-five years ago, I began listening to your radio program at the recommendation of a mentor and friend. As a result, I’ve been touched by many of your guests over the years. I just wanted to take a moment to thank Focus for all of your wise counsel. In this day and age when it’s often difficult to see evidence of godly families, be assured that many of us in your listening audience are living testimonies that all of your prayer, hard work, and perseverance has paid off. I praise the Lord for the outstanding ministry of Focus on the Family!

We are grateful that God uses our work to impact lives, and I’m wondering if YOU have a story to tell? Leave a comment below and let others know how these broadcasts have made a difference in your life.

Also, I’d ask that you take a few minutes to answer our broadcast survey. Your answers to eight quick questions will help us evaluate and improve our programming. Here’s the link to that survey.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!

Guy Getaways

As I walked back toward my desk I heard two co-workers talking.

“You going?”

“Yup.”

“Alright, I’ll get the tickets.”

When they saw me, one of them asked, “Do you want to come?”

“I’d love to go, but the timing won’t work. Can I take a rain check?”

They are planning on going up to Denver to see a Colorado Rockies baseball game.I didn’t ask, but it seemed to be a guys-only time.

And, as I write this, another co-worker is off on a two-day motorcycle jaunt. Seven or eight guys, roaring down the road, enjoying quality “guy time.”

I’ll admit I’m a bit envious. Things at work and home right now are just too busy for such a getaway. But why does the appeal of heading off for a night or two with some friends sound so appealing? What is it about the “guys-only getaway” that resonates so much with so many men?

It seems that men are quite often “pack animals,” bound together through common circumstances and activities. We gravitate toward “doing stuff” together in such a way that we have some space for decompression and some honest conversations. We don’t usually get together for tea, nor are we drawn toward formal events for such sharing. No, we look for the fishing trip, the baseball game, going to the races, or for me, the annual hunting trip with “the guys.”

Personally, I really enjoy “guy time” away from routine work and family responsibilities. It usually brings about some good, refreshing change-of-pace thinking. It is renewing. And the opportunity to share adrenaline as we hike the woods is something that, as a man, I anticipate and enjoy. There’s also a quality to my thought-life that results from spending time traveling and having a little space. I usually come home from such trips recharged and with renewed energy.

The masculine soul needs the wild, the adventurous, the shared male experience.  Recently the Wall Street Journal had a blog entry about this subject of male getaways. I thought it was pretty interesting – and rather accurate.

Now, I think I’ll run this thought past my wife. I’m pretty sure she’s going to agree that these male bonding times bring some benefit to our relationship. And I know she favors my hunting activities – especially if that helps fill the deep freeze and cut down on our food bills.

WIR, June 4, 2010

The week we’ve had some great Focus radio programming!

Marriage: Greg and Erin Smalley compared the early years of their marriage to the ancient Israelites’ experience in the book of Exodus — wandering through the wilderness and dreaming of the Promised Land. The Smalleys say it felt like they would never achieve the marriage of their dreams; that they were “stuck” in a seemingly endless cycle of unhealthy conflict.  What most couples do to stay in the wilderness:

“We stop doing the things that we should be doing. We start doing things that are probably unhealthy for our marriages, and all of a sudden, we feel stuck … and we don’t know what to do.”

The conversation with the Smalleys is here.

Parenting, Life and Faith: Art Linkletter’s book Kids Say the Darndest Things is one of the best-selling titles of all time, and his interviews with young children have entertained millions. Listen in as we pay tribute to the entertainment icon who passed away last week, with some great laughs as Linkletter shares more of the hilarious things kids said on his hit TV show House Party. The program takes a serious turn as Linkletter talks about his daughter’s suicide and describes how that tragic event helped take his life and personal ministry in a different direction. Through it all, he kept perspective:

“Living a happy, productive, long life calls for the ability to laugh at yourself a little … If you can laugh at the world and laugh at yourself, it [helps take] away the hurts.”

Meaning In Life: Monday we aired a message from Don Coble, who described his former life as a hardened military man who was addicted to work and alcoholism, and explained how he was transformed by God’s love and grace.

And we enjoy getting feedback from folks. With the summer movie season here, I thought you might find this recent comment by one friend of Focus on the Family particularly helpful:

“Thank you so much for your ministry at Plugged In.  My husband and I are very particular about what we let our four children see.  We have found that even though a movie may have a PG or PG-13 rating, many of these films may be just as unsuitable as R-rated ones.  Vice-versa, a (very) few R-rated movies, if seen with our guidance, may be more suitable than some PG or PG-13 works.  (These are films we would only see with our oldest child, and typically only those dealing with war).  We generally check with Plugged In before we see any movie, and that has served us well.  From a family who greatly appreciates what you are doing, please stay the course!  In an age where innocence is on the line every day, thank you for helping us fight the battle for the sake of Christ and our children.”

Thanks for allowing us to be part of your family!

Strange Days

What are we to make of such days, which seem to have an overabundance of sad, weird, even disturbing stories about family, faith and culture?

Alright, enough railing against the culture…and back to raising my kids and loving my wife.

Looking In The Mirror

None of this is really a revelation. Light will eventually shine on every misspoken word and deed. There seems, however, to be a propensity of public moral failings lately:

Sports…

Politics…

Religion…

Entertainment…

While there is always great disappointment accompanying moral failures, and much pain for those most closely associated with the fallen, there isn’t great surprise. Men (and women) have shown poor judgment and engaged in foolish – even illegal – behavior since the beginning of time. I think that there is great truth in the old saying that “your deeds will find you out.”

I don’t think we need to condemn those who make poor choices and find their lives in a mess. As followers of Christ, we should show compassion to the fallen, not judgment. The person whose sin is out in the public is feeling plenty of remorse, even if they don’t show it. They know full well that they’ve blown it. They feel guilty. They are cringing at the mess they’ve made. The last thing they need is a “holier-than-thou” finger being wagged in their face. And, God knows full well, I’m far from perfect and have plenty of things in my life that could use some cleaning up. So I’m not in any position to render judgment on someone else. It’s that old principle Jesus talked about in Matthew 7:3, about the propensity we have to point out the speck in our brother’s eye when we have a plank in our own eye. We shouldn’t try to “help” someone before we examine our own lives first and deal honestly with our own sins and shortcomings.

So I’m committing to pray for those public figures who find themselves explaining why they committed adultery, or that they have an addiction, or that they broke the rules in an effort to get ahead. When the next celebrity or sports star fails, I’ll be asking God to speak into their brokenness, to give them a tender heart towards His offer of forgiveness in Christ, and to bring restoration into their lives.

And I think I’ll do that praying as I’m looking in the mirror.

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