Are You Afraid?
Posted on July 2, 2009
Filed Under Fathering, Parenting, Personal, Spiritual Life | Leave a Comment
Andy Stanley is pastor of a very large and successful church near Atlanta. I’ve never met him, but heard him speak on a few occasions. Years ago I interviewed him about one of his books and was impressed by his insights. I have a lot of respect for this man. He wrote about the need to find some balance in life, and suggested that fear keeps us from making our family the priority. Yep, fear. Many men wouldn’t admit it, but they’re afraid of missing out on that promotion, for instance.
I think he’s right. I recall once working for a boss who put in excessive hours at his desk. He freely admitted that his work was his priority. I almost felt like I had to sneak past his door at night to avoid questions about this project or that deadline. I would put in a good day’s work but couldn’t ever fight off the fear that I’d be labeled a “slacker” because I didn’t stay until 7 or 8 every night. I also hoped to be considered for a management job that was about to open up. Afraid of being overlooked because I wasn’t as committed as others, I would often stay at work longer than needed. I had a wife and a couple of kids at home, and I knew they needed me. I wanted to go home to be their man, to play with the kids, but it was really hard to pull away.
Fear did that to me. I wonder if fear is holding you back in your life?
Overcoming Shame
Posted on July 1, 2009
Filed Under Dr. Dobson's Broadcast, Spiritual Life | Leave a Comment
Marilyn Hontz has a wrenching personal story of struggling with terrible shame, but also tells of escaping those paralyzing emotional wounds. Please share this conversation with anyone you know who experienced a childhood trauma that still deeply affects them today.
And remember that if you have a need to talk with someone about a troubling part of your life, Focus on the Family offers a consultation with a licensed, caring counselor. Call our toll free number (1-800-A-FAMILY) to get started on the road to healing.
Priority: Home
Posted on July 1, 2009
Filed Under Fathering, Marriage, Parenting, Personal | 1 Comment
Despite the rather high visibility I have with my role at Focus, there’s something that is far more important to me in life.
I’ve made note on many occasions and to many friends that at 5:30 p.m. its time for me to leave the office and go “home to my real job.” I have a growing awareness of the fact that I am the only husband to Dena, the only dad to my kids. And so I try to mentally gear up as I make the 20 minute drive home in the afternoon. I try to think through how their day might have gone, what Dena might need from me when I walk in the door, and perhaps most importantly, I try to think through how I might be a good father. And I pray God guide me in the evening hours, so I can be the best spouse and dad.
True confession time. I fail at this a lot. It is a constant struggle to turn the corner from the office – where I enjoy a level of control over my schedule and I can choose, to some degree, what I do with my time – to the home, where the noise level seems overwhelming at times, the activities are child-centric to a great degree, and my wife deserves a lot of my time and energy.
Success, Tragedy and Faith
Posted on June 30, 2009
Filed Under Spiritual Life | Leave a Comment
Here’s an incredible story of growing up with wealth and success, struggling through tragedy, and coming to find true peace through faith in God. This is the firsthand account of a fascinating journey through life by Adolph Coors IV, and over here he shares additional thoughts about our need to understand that being good isn’t enough to gain salvation.
Heart - And Faith - Of An Artist
Posted on June 30, 2009
Filed Under Arts | Leave a Comment
My friend Jeff Caylor was “twitterviewed” by my colleagues over at Boundless. Jeff’s a talented songwriter/musician who is living in Hong Kong, and talks about his faith and his music. Its a quick read - Twitter, after all, keeps things brief - and if you’re interested in art and culture, you might find it interesting.
How To De-Clutter
Posted on June 30, 2009
Filed Under Misc | Leave a Comment
Can you relate? I have too much junk in my life. Stuff that takes time, energy and space. I need help, like the advice offered here.
Where to start?
Guns in Church?
Posted on June 29, 2009
Filed Under Misc | 5 Comments
Interesting move by the pastor of a church, starting a special service (it is called an “event,” actually) for those who like to wear their guns. Here’s the article, what do you think?
Horror Film Does Disservice to Orphans
Posted on June 29, 2009
Filed Under Media, Orphan Care, Social Issues | 1 Comment
Next month a new horror film will be released about a family that brings an orphan into their home. While I’m not a fan of the genre, what really bothers me about this movie is its distorted portrayal of orphans.
There are millions of fatherless children worldwide, and they should be offered our love, not presented as a sick stereotype in a horror movie.
Here’s a short video from someone who takes issue with the film - and offers some interesting perspectives about who orphans really are, and what we can do to reach out to them.
Please Welcome The Plugged In Podcast!
Posted on June 26, 2009
Filed Under Arts, Media, Social Issues, Spiritual Life | Leave a Comment
My team is very excited about the new Plugged In podcast! It is a weekly audio program that delivers the kind of thoughtful insights about the world of media and entertainment that you’ve come to expect from the Plugged In staff. Be one of the first to subscribe (here) and let us know what you think.
Advice For Jon & Kate, Mark & Jenny
Posted on June 24, 2009
Filed Under Marriage, Social Issues | 9 Comments
Two high profile marriages in the news in about 24 hours. Both involved people who have rather unusual stories, younger children, a lot of public pressure and intense media scrutiny. And both couples were known for some religious faith. What to think?
Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of a television reality show and parents to eight children, announced on TV that they are divorcing. Evidently I am one of only a few who really knew nothing about this couple, having never watched their show and pretty much ignoring stories about their famous family. Until now. Their marital strife has been the subject of tabloids and blogs for some time. Fans have expressed great disappointment with the Gosselins’ divorce announcement, others anger, and in one poll most said the couple should work on resolving their differences and seek to stay together. It doesn’t look particularly hopeful for this young couple, though.
Mark Sanford, embattled Governor of South Carolina, has been in the national spotlight this past year, ever since speculation grew that he might be a contender for the VP slot on the GOP ticket. Closer to home, he has irritated many in his state with his tactics and stances on a number of issues. In recent months, allegations of marital difficulties have surfaced, and those intensified last week when Mr. Sanford all but disappeared, with differing explanations as to his whereabouts by his staff and his wife. The mystery was made public, however, when he confessed to the assembled press corps and a watching world that he had gone to Argentina to see a woman with whom he has had an extramarital affair for some time. As of this writing, the Governor is insisting he will not resign from his office. Jenny Sanford indicates the marriage can be put back together, but that her husband has some work to do. Indeed.
I’ve got a variety of thoughts about these couples. Sadness for the kids, disappointment that these marriages have unraveled in the public eye (it seems to me that the last thing a struggling marriage needs is a bunch of cameras and reporters asking prying questions and offering opinions about what might happen), and even some hope that somehow these public breakdowns can be patched back together. With God’s help, that is possible, of course.
I think it is imperative for those of us who follow Christ to avoid being judgmental about these couples, to pray for these families and to model grace and forgiveness. Seems to me that’s what Jesus would want from us. No stone throwing, just an awareness of our own tendency to sin and some introspection to make sure we don’t start down a similar path. That’s what He wanted the Pharisees to know in John’s Gospel (chapter 8).
As to advice, if given the opportunity I’d suggest to these men that they (a) leave the spotlight by walking away from their jobs and (b) concentrate on doing whatever it takes to restore the broken relationships with their wife and children. From what I can tell, in the past each man has said that family is of primary importance. So men, do the hard thing, the right thing, and seek forgiveness for your part in the troubles we’re witnessing today and pursue reconciliation with everything in you.
What do you think? Scroll down the page (past all the fine print) and leave a comment.